


The Secret Double Life of Jonathan Sims

by Kaladin_x_happiness



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Archivist!Sasha, Daisy and Jon Friendship Rights, Gen, Jon gets roasted a lot and I'm not sorry, Jon is secretly in a band, M/M, The Mechanisms Were The Archivist's College Band, This is a group chat fic, Well they got together in college but they're still playing together, he's gotta learn to chill out and have friends so i will MAKE him, tbh probably none of this will really make sense but its gonna be fun, timeline? what timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 17,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24783376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaladin_x_happiness/pseuds/Kaladin_x_happiness
Summary: Tim: now that we have a work group chat, I've just got one questionBossWoman: and what is that?Tim: what is up with Jon's username?D'Ville: That's... a long story.Featuring Archivist!Sasha, Mechanism!Jon, little to no plot, and lots of group chat shenanigans
Relationships: Basira Hussain & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Jonathan Sims & The Mechanisms, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker
Comments: 1275
Kudos: 1626





	1. Monday

PRIVATE MESSAGE

**WTGhost:** hey did you end up getting that promotion??

**D’Ville:** No, I was passed over in favor of a coworker.

**WTGhost:** thats unfortunate but you weren’t really qualified anyway [shrug]

**D’Ville:** I truly wasn’t. I did not know the extent of the disaster that is the current archive. I’m not sure the preceding Head Archivist did any work whatsoever. It’s horrendous. Sasha has a degree in Library Science and is working on completely revising the labeling system, which is something I doubt I'd be capable of.

**WTGhost:** Thank god thats not your problem

**D’Ville:** It is still my problem, thank you very much. I will be working very hard to help get everything in order.

**WTGhost** : but at least it isn’t your responsibility

**D’Ville:** True.

**WTGhost:** hows the band? I havent seen anyone since the last concert

**D’Ville** :  The last concert was on Friday, Georgina.

**WTGhost:** And your point, Jonathan?

**D’Ville:** Today is Tuesday.

**WTGhost:** my point stands

**D’Ville:** I will see if they would like to meet up.

**WTGhost:** hell yeah [emoji stream]

  
  


GROUP CHAT “The Aurora”

_ 9 members _

**D’Ville:** Georgie wants to know if you would all like to hang out.

**YesSir:** of course!

**GPTim:** We always want to hang out with your ex girlfriend

Any ex of yours will do really

**Nastya:** Rude

But accurate

**D’Ville:** I suppose I will let her know.

**GPTim:** Hold on, did you get the promotion??

Jonny boy

Hello

**D’Ville:** I was passed over in favor of a more qualified coworker.

**Nasta:** So the mighty has fallen at last. Press F to pay respects.

**GPTim:** F

**Nastya** : F

**YesSir:** F

**Ashes:** F

**Drumbot:** F

**theDoctor:** F

**Raphaella:** F

**Ivy** : F

**D’Ville:** You need to show more respect for your captain.

**GPTim:** First mate

_7 people have liked this message_

**Nastya** : You beat me to it

**D’Ville:** Captain.

**Raphaella:** First mate

_7 people have liked this message_

**D’Ville:** I hate you all.

**GPTim:** See you on Friday for rehearsal then?

**D’Ville:** Absolutely. I could stand to sing about gore and violence right now.

**Nastya:** My place at 7. Bring Georgie, we haven't seen her in ages.

_ 8 people have liked this message _

**D'Ville:** It has been precisely three days since you have last seen her.

But yes. I'll bring her.

_ D’Ville, GPTim, and 7 others have logged off _


	2. Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim makes the Archive group chat. Apparently nicknames carry over in the app. Chaos ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got to preface this for any mechs fans reading: I'm new to the Mechs. Like, less than 2 weeks new. I don't know the characters well, and I know the people behind the characters even less. So I'm 100% pulling most of this from nowhere. Hope that's chill.

GROUP CHAT, 10:22 am

_Tim Stoker has added Sasha James and Martin Blackwood to the chat_

_Tim Stoker has changed the chat name to_ MA Fam

**Sasha:** was this necessary

 **Tim:** absolutely

_Tim Stoker has changed Sasha Jame’s nickname to Bosslady_

**Bosslady:** I will allow this

 **Bosslady:** on one condition

 **Bosslady:** We can only have a work group chat if everybody is included.

 **Tim:** But Sashaaaaaaaaa

 **Tim:** I straight-up can’t find him in the system

 **Tim:** I know I’ve seen this app open on his phone but there is no “Jonathan Sims” ANYWHERE

 **Bosslady:** I’ll track him down

 **Bosslady:** I'm sure his personal email address is in these records somewhere, and if not I'll hack it

 **Martin:** All hail Sasha James, technological miracle worker

 **Bosslady:** you know it!

_Tim Stoker has changed his nickname to Stoked_

**Martin:** do I get a nickname?

_Stoked has changed Martin Blackwood’s nickname to Martino_

**Martino:** oh come on, you can do better

_Stoked has changed Martino's nickname to Tea-king_

**Tea-king:** much better

  
  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 11:11 am

**Stoked:** we need to come up with a nickname for Jon

 **Tea-king:** okay but if you choose anything mean I’m nixing it

 **Stoked:** mr.grumpy

 **Tea-king:** nixed

 **Stoked:** book.boy

 **Tea-King:** nixed

 **Stoked:** tea-lover

 **Tea-king:** ASDFHDKFL;SDKFSLDFJS NIXED

 **Stoked:** I’m onto you

 **Tea-king:** please dont.

 **Stoked:** it’s okay man, i’ve got your back

 **Stoked:** I don’t understand but i’ve got your back

 **Stoked:** we are no closer to a nickname, however

 **Tea-king:** Why can’t we just let him choose his own?

 **Stoked:** you’re no fun

  
  
  
  


GROUP CHAT: MA Fam, 11:33 am

_Bosslady has added D’Ville to the group_

**Bosslady:** found him!

 **Stoked:** Jon?

 **Tea-king:** Jon?

 **D’Ville:** What is this?

 **Stoked:** it’s a work group chat my man!

 **D’Ville:** _is typing_

 **D’Ville:** _is no longer typing_

_D’Ville has changed his nickname to JSims_

**Stoked:** but but but NICKNAMES

  
  
  


GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, 11:35 am

_9 members_

_D’Ville has changed his nickname to JSims_

**GPTim:** Hey hey my man, what is that for?

_GPTim has changed JSims nickname to D’Ville_

**GPTim:** You don’t get to abandon us that easily

_D’Ville has changed his nickname to JSims_

**D’Ville:** you dont UNDERSTAND my coworkers just started a group chat and apparently nicknames carry over to all of your conversations!!!

_Ashes has changed JSims nickname to D’Ville_

**Ashes:** Boo hoo. What are they going to do, tease you about being in a band?

_D’Ville has changed his nickname to JSims_

**JSims:** THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE BAND

 **JSims:** THEY THINK IM NORMAL AND PROFESSIONAL

 **JSims:** I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT WAY

 **YesSir:** sucks to be you lmao

_YesSir has changed JSims nickname to D’Ville_

**D’Ville:** what have I done to deserve this

GROUP CHAT: MA Fam, 11:35 am

_4 members_

_JSims nickname has been changed to D’Ville_

_D’Ville has changed his nickname to JSims_

**Stoked:** what is happening

_JSims nickname has been changed to D’Ville_

**Bosslady:** beats me

_D’Ville has changed his nickname to JSims_

**Tea-king:** is he okay?

_JSims nickname has been changed to D’Ville_

**D’Ville:** I have given up.

 **Stoked:** So… what was up with that?

 **D’Ville:** My friends from college have used this app to keep in touch since graduation. They find it quite entertaining to humiliate me.

 **Tea-king:** Are they the ones that first gave you that nickname?

 **D’Ville:** Not exactly.

 **Stoked:** _is typing_

 **D’Ville:** I am not explaining further.

 **Stoked:** _is no longer typing_

 **Bosslady:** I’m still curious how you got nicknamed after the lady from 101 Dalmations, but I think enough time has been spent here.

 **Bosslady:** back to work, everyone

 **Stoked:** But SASHA

 **Bosslady** : you heard me

_D’Ville and Tea-king have logged off_

**Bosslady:** Timothy.

_Stoked and Bosslady have logged off_

  
  


GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, 11:40 am

**D’Ville:** I’ve given up. You all win. I hope you’re happy.

 **D’Ville:** they think I’m nicknamed after the lady from 101 Dalmations?

 **D’Ville:** what even is that?

 **Ivy:** Its a kids movie

 **Ivy:** Don’t tell me you’ve never seen it

 **Ivy:** Even Toy Soldier has seen it

 **Ivy:** And they’re immortal

 **YesSir:** what do I have to do with this

 **Ivy:** Nothing at all my dear

 **YesSir:** [thumbs up]

 **D’Ville:** I googled it. There’s an evil lady who kills dogs?

 **D’Ville:** My evil backstory is way sexier

 **D’Ville:** and so is my character

 **D’Ville** : Clearly I am the superior D’Ville.

 **GPTim:** Never said you weren’t

 **GPTim:** but I may start calling you Cruela

 **D’Ville:** No need. I'm Captain D’Ville, terror of the galaxy

 **Ashes:** First mate

_7 people have liked this message_

 **D’Ville:** fuck you

 **D’Ville:** at least on Friday I can heal my soul with some Old King Cole

_8 people have liked this message_

_9 people have logged off_

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do group chat apps work like this? I wouldn't know, haven't ever used one. Am I projecting desired interactions with friends onto this motley group of characters?
> 
> Yes. Yes I am.


	3. Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jurgen Leitner does the only useful thing he's ever managed in his life, the bastard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously I had this tagged as No Supernatural but then I had An Idea(tm), so here we are back again in the land of the spooky. This will still be lighthearted though.

GROUP CHAT: MA Fam, 7:45 am

_ 4 members _

**Bosslady:** The hubris of this man

**Bosslady:** Our esteemed boss Elias Bouchard himself called me in to come to his office early this morning

**Bosslady:** I’d been hoping to show him my revised filing system that I finished last night, so I made sure to show up extra early to go over it

**Bosslady:** Guess what he did.

**Bosslady:** He bitched about my decision to hold off on digitizing the records

**Bosslady:** The hubris of this man

**Bosslady:** I’m the one with a degree in Library Science. I am the one who is qualified to do this job. If he wants these records digitized, he can wait for me to do them in the proper fashion or he can do it himself, the prick.

**Stoked:** You tell him, Sash

_ Stoked has changed his nickname to IStan1Queen _

**Tea-King:** Amen 

**D’Ville:** Did you tell him this to his face?

**IStan1Queen:** Please tell me you said this to his face

**Bosslady:** I absolutely did

**Bosslady:** You should have seen it

**Bosslady:** He reacted as if I’d just spit all over the grave of his most esteemed ancestor

_ IStan1Queen has changed Bosslady’s nickname to TheQueen _

**TheQueen:** I now have just over an hour before our actual work shift starts, and beginning early feels too much like conceding a victory to Elias. I think I’m going to do a coffee run (on institute money of course). How do you all take it?

**Tea-King:** Not at all, but I would love a pastry or two

**IStan1Queen:** Black with cinnamon

**D’Ville:** With an ungodly amount of sugar and 4 extra shots of espresso 

**IStan1Queen:** Holy shit dude 

_ 2 people have liked this comment _

**D’Ville:** Are we allowed to swear in a work chat? Is that professional?

**TheQueen:** I’ll allow it

**D’Ville:** Then fuck off, Tim, its my coffee

_ 2 people have liked this comment _

**Tea-King:** Jon getting feral in the group chat this morning

**Tea-King:** Thanks for the breakfast Sasha!

**Tea-King:** Best boss ever!

_ 3 people have liked this comment _

**TheQueen:** See you all at 9!

8:45 am

**TheQueen:** Did one of you leave a box on my desk?

  
  


9:15 am

**TheQueen:** Emergency meeting. My office. Now.

  
  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 11:02 AM

**IStan1Queen:** So… how much of that note do you think was legitimate?

**D’Ville:** To be honest? I’m not certain. 14 fears seems excessive.

**D’Ville:** The Web, though, that’s real.

**IStan1Queen:** So’s the Stranger. What was your run-in?

**D’Ville:** A Leitner. You?

**IStan1Queen:** A mannequin stole my brother’s face

**D’Ville:** _is typing_

 **D’Ville:** _is no longer typing_

**D’Ville:** That sounds quite… traumatic.

**IStan1Queen:** Sure was. 

**IStan1Queen:** I see why you hate Leitners so much now

**D’Ville:** I’ve always thought of them as the epitome of evil.

**D’Ville:** I was more correct than I could have guessed.

  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 12:06 pm

**D’Ville:** Are you still on for Friday night?

**WTGhost:** Sure am!

**D’Ville:** Could we meet up beforehand? I would like to talk to you about something from work.

**WTGhost:** Oooooh, something Spooky happen at the Magnus Institute?

**D’Ville:** Its not SPOOKY

**D’Ville:** But yes, I learned something… unsettling, and am uncertain what I think about it.

**WTGhost:** Just call it spooky like a normal human and move on

**WTGhost:** But sure. See you at 5 for dinner?

**D’Ville:** Thank you. Indian?

**WTGhost:** What else?

_ 1 person liked this message _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the positive comments guys!!! I'm touched that ya'll like my nonsense


	4. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jon messages the wrong Tim. Twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some notes both for TMA fans who don't know the Mechs, and Mechs fans who know the Mechs way better than I do.
> 
> "Ashes" is Basira. They are voice acted by the same person. Her personality here is going to be a mix of the two characters bc I just really really love Ashes.
> 
> "Toy Soldier" is Nikola. As far as the other members of the Mechs know, the whole "i'm really immortal" thing is just a running gag. They just think Nikola is always, always in character.
> 
> I'm new to the Mechs, so all the other characters will just be referred to by their character names, no voice actors. In this fic, they're all human (beside Nikola) and have created their characters for their band, but their individual personalities will largely be the same as their characters (with a little less violence). Nastya is here because she's my favorite and I say so. Also, I don't know the timelines for when songs were written so I'm going off of release dates for the cds.

GROUP CHAT: MA Fam, 9:42 am

_ 4 members _

**IStan1Queen:** We need to do a team bonding activity!

**IStan1Queen:** Since were apparently stuck with each other now

_ IStan1Queen has changed his nickname to PartyTim _

_ PartyTim has changed the group chat name to shots shots shots _

**TheQueen:** I’m down for a bonding activity, but not on a Thursday.

**TheQueen:** Something tomorrow night perhaps?

**PartyTim:** I could accept that

**TeaKing:** I’m free tomorrow

**D’Ville:** I am not sure it is professional to socialize after hours.

**D’Ville:** Also I have other commitments.

**PartyTim:** Stop being such a stick in the mud

**PartyTim:** You’re not our boss

**PartyTim:** And you’re stuck with us

**TheQueen:** You could really stand to lighten up a little bit, especially since you’re stuck with us for life now

**TeaKing:** Leave him alone, guys

**D’Ville:** Thank you, Martin

**TeaKing:** :)

**D’Ville:** And as I have stated, I have other commitments on Friday.

**TheQueen:** And if I make it a mandatory work event?

**D’Ville:** It’s not like you can fire me.

**PartyTim:** What could possibly be more interesting than a work event for Mr Workaholic himself?

_ PartyTim has changed D’Villes nickname to Mr Workaholic _

_ Mr Workaholics nickname has been changed to D’Ville _

**D’Ville:** The friends that won’t let me change my nickname. Its jam night.

**TeaKing:** Jam? As in biscuits and jam?

**D’Ville:** _is typing_

 **D’Ville:** _is no longer typing_

**D’Ville:** Actually we will go with that.

  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 10:05 am

**PartyTim:** “Actually we will go with that” what could POSSIBLY be more embarrassing than ‘jam night’ meaning biscuits and jam

**TeaKing:** what makes you think he’s embarrassed?

**PartyTim:** he changed his mind about whatever he was typing

**PartyTim:** embarrassment

**TeaKing:** it's something with his friends, and they’re clearly a little odd, so thats probably it

**TeaKing:** seriously, Cruella D’Ville? Why does he have that nickname?

**PartyTim:** its probably the hair

**PartyTim:** [cruellahairstreaks.jpg]

**TeaKing:** ASDFDKSA;FLJASLDFJSLADFA

  
  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 11:11 am

**D’Ville:** hey Tim, what do you think of doing King Arthur?

**PartyTim:** Are you talking about BBC Merlin’s Arthur? Because I’d totally “do” him, if you catch my drift

**D’Ville:** I have made a terrible mistake.

_ D’Ville has changed PartyTims nickname to WorkTim _

**WorkTim:** how many Tims can you possibly know

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 11:11 am

**D’Ville:** Since you’re already in the archives, could you bring me the lightning monster statement? 

**GPTim:** The what now?

**GPTim:** and also no, I cannot

**D’Ville:** I am so sorry, I mixed up messages with you and my coworker

**D’Ville:** [screenshot]

**D’Ville:** can you BELIEVE this guy

**GPTim:** asdhfkdsal;fjsalkf what else could you have possibly meant?

**D’Ville:** LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE

  
  


GROUP CHAT, The Aurora: 2:15 pm

_ 9 members _

**D’Ville:** Ulysses has been a fun go, but I think it's time to start writing the next set. What do you all think of doing the legend of King Arthur?

**Ashes:** I love that idea.

**Ivy:** Sounds good to me.

**GPTim:** I like it

**ToySoldier:** I’m just happy to be included!

**Ashes:** We know, Nikola

**Nastya:** Let’s do that, but we need a twist

**Nastya:** I propose gunslinging western

**Ivy:** All in favor?

**GPTim:** aye

**Nastya:** aye

**Drumbot:** aye

**D’Ville:** aye

**Ashes:** aye

**ToySoldier:** aye

**Raphaella:** aye

**Marion:** aye

**Ivy:** There we have it, gunslinging King Arthur is on the to-write list

**Ivy:** who wants to help Jonny out with it this time?

**Nastya:** I can help out

**Drumbot:** oh oh oh I want to be Merlin!!!

**D’Ville:** You can’t just be Merlin, Brian

**Drumbot:** you let Basira be Hades

**D’Ville:** That’s different

**Drumbot:** why?

**D’Ville:** [lotr meme, one does not simply say no to Basira]

**Ivy:** I’m slightly concerned that you had that ready, but it is very true

**Drumbot:** merlin merlin merlin merlin

**D’Ville:** No.

**Ashes:** Let him be Merlin.

**D’Ville:** Fine.

**GPTim:** lol pushover

**Ashes:** You wanna go, timboy?

**GPTim:** actually

_ GPTim has left the chat _

**Ashes:** lol chicken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all are having as much fun as I am with this. Leave me a comment, they fuel the typing


	5. Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author projects their taste in books onto Sasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is terribly self indulgent. Shoutout to Edgedancer and any other Stormlight Archive fans reading this. Hit me up in the comments.

GROUP CHAT: shots shots shots, 9:44 am

_ 4 members _

**DashingSash:** Hey y’all I’m making this quiz mandatory for work purposes

**DashingSash:** [ [radiantorderquizlink] ](https://www.brandonsanderson.com/official-knights-radiant-order-quiz/)

**ImStoked:** what is this?

**Tea-King:** it looks like something book-related?

**DashingSash:** it’s a personality quiz of sorts, puts you in a Knights Radiant order

**Tea-King:** Knights Radiant?

**DashingSash:** have none of you read the Stormlight Archive series?

**ImStoked:** not all of us like books that can be used as weapons, Sasha

_ 2 people have liked this comment _

**DashingSash:** well in that case

**DashingSash:** its sort of like a Hogwarts house, except there are 10 possible results, and they’re all bands of superhero-ish people, and the author isn’t a TERF

**Tea-King:** preach

_ 3 people have liked this comment _

**DashingSash:** each Radiant order comes with its own set of powers

**DashingSash:** and a spren, which is… a spirit? Of sorts? It gives them the powers. Unique kind to each order

**ImStoked:** I followed precisely none of that but I’ll still take the quiz

**DashingSash:** oh and tell me your second order as well, it’ll rank them by how well you fit

**D’Ville:** It says I’m an Elsecaller. I don’t know what that means but it says I’m probably wise and a scholar.

**ImStoked:** bullshit on the wisdom

**D’Ville:** My second was Truthwatcher.

**DashingSash:** “I will reach my potential” and “I will seek truth” says a lot about you.

**DashingSash:** Who is next?

**Tea-King:** I’m Edgedancer and then Truthwatcher.

**DashingSash:** eeeyyyyyyyyy Edgedancer club! “I will remember”

**DashingSash:** The Edgedancers have my favorite character in the series!

**DashingSash:** My secondary one is Bondsmith. “I will unite.”

**ImStoked:** I got Willshaper and Lightweaver. Freedom, personal fulfillment, and personal truth, I guess?

**DashingSash:** “I will seek freedom” and “I will speak my truth”. This has been surprisingly enlightening

**Tea-King:** We’re still not reading your books.

_ 2 people have liked this comment _

**DashingSash:** You’re no fun.

**D’Ville:** Do you deny that this was a play to get us to read the series?

**DashingSash:** …. 

**D’Ville:** Gotcha.  
  


GROUP CHAT, The Aurora, 3:15 pm

_ 9 members _

**Nastya:** Don’t forget, my place at 7!

**Nastya:** Marius, if you even think about touching my violin I will personally end you.

**Marius:** But we both play violin!

**Nastya:** That has no bearing on this.

**Nastya:** You pull too many dumb stunts and my violin is worth more than your pitiful existence.

**Ashes:** Oh burn

**Marius:** Fine, I’ll leave it alone.

**ToySoldier:** Do you want me to bring dinner?

**Ivy:** Absolutely not.

**ToySoldier:** :(

**Raphaella:** You can bring takeout. Just please, don’t cook.

**ToySoldier:** :)

**Ivy:** And no surprise teeth this time, Nikola.

**ToySoldier:** :(

  
  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 4:22 PM

**Nastya:** Do we want to cover the Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot love triangle at all?

**D’Ville:** Absolutely not. I hate romance lines.

**Nastya:** Liar. Cinders/Rose was your favorite bit of OUATIS, you can’t deny it

**D’Ville:** Actually I mostly just like singing about death.

**Nastya:** Liar

**D’Ville:** back to the point

**D’Ville:** what if… trio

**Nastya:** poly? Yes please

**D’Ville:** I refuse to write a cishet if at all possible.

**Nastya:** oh mood

**Nastya:** That’s why I’m dating The Aurora

**Nastya:** robosexual ftw

**D’Ville:** that wasn’t an invitation to invite your obsession with robots to this discussion

**Nastya:** Rude.

**Nastya:** I’ll have Aurora throw you out the airlock again.

**D’Ville:** I’d like to see you try.

  
  
  


GROUP CHAT, The Aurora, 4:28 pm

_ 9 members _

_ Nastya has kicked D’Ville from the chat _

**Ivy:** Why?

**Nastya:** He insulted my robots again.

**Ashes:** lol rip

  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 5:01 pm

**WTGhost:** where r u

**WTGhost:** ur late

**D’Ville:** it is precisely 5:01 pm, Georgie. Give me a second to pack up.

**D’Ville:** It’s not like I can make it all the way to the restaurant in 1 minute anyway.

**WTGhost:** Who said anything about meeting at the restaurant?

**D’Ville:** …

**D’Ville:** Are you outside?

**WTGhost:** :)

**D’Ville:** Please don’t talk to my coworkers. You’ll embarrass me.

**WTGhost:** Martin seems like a lovely fellow.

**D’Ville:** GEORGIE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case y'all haven't cried today yet, one of the Ideals that the Edgedancers swear is "I will remember those who have been forgotten." Now associate that with Sasha. Sorry not sorry


	6. Weekend-Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon’s friends like to give him a hard time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk how to write drunk people.

GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, Friday 11:22 pm

_ 8 members _

**Nastya:** Thanks again for cleaning up, hope you all got home safe!

_ 7 people have liked this comment _

**Nastya:** Hang on where is Jonny boy

_ Nastya has added D’Ville to the chat _

**D’Ville:** It took you that long to realize I was still kicked out?

**Nastya:** You still owe me an apology.

**D’Ville:** I apologized at your house. And I brought you cupcakes from your favorite bakery. Was that not enough?

**Nastya** : What cupcakes?

**Ashes:** Those were for Nastya?

**D’Ville:** BASIRA

**Nastya:** BASIRA

_ Nastya has kicked Ashes from the chat _

  
  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 11:33 pm

**Ashes:** I was joking. They’re in your fridge.

**Nastya:** They better be.

  
  


GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, 11:35 pm

_ 8 members _

_ Nastya has added Ashes to the chat _

**Nastya:** They’re in my fridge. You two are forgiven.

**Nastya:** For now.

**Nastya:** Thin. Ice.

  
  
  


GROUP CHAT: shots shots shots, Saturday 2:01 am

_ 4 members _

**ImStoked:** Thanks again for the great time guys!

**TeaKing:** you;re all the besr

**TeaKing:** the besg

**TeaKing:** best

**D’Ville:** Go drink some water, I beg of you.

  
  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 4:02 am

**ToySoldier:** The Computer Says You Are Online, Jonny

**ToySoldier:** You Should Not Be Awake!

**ToySoldier:** You Are Human! You Need Sleep!

**ToySoldier:** Sleep Is Necessary For Optimal Skin Health!

**D’Ville:** I am not human anymore. I am a being fueled by caffeine and rage, plagued by the incessant sound of the harmonica.

**ToySoldier:** A Joke?

**D’Ville:** Yes, Nikola.

**ToySoldier:** A Jolly Good Joke! Put Away The Harmonica And Get Some Sleep!

**ToySoldier:** Protect The Beautiful Skin!

**D’Ville:** You’re incredibly strange.

**D’Ville:** But at least you care I guess.

**D’Ville:** Good night.

_ D’Ville is offline _

_ D’Ville is online _

**D’Ville:** If sleep is so important to good skin, how do you always look so good? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you offline.

**ToySoldier:** I Am Made Of Plastic!

**D’Ville:** I should have known better than to get a straight answer from you.

_ D’Ville is offline _

  
  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, Monday 8:28 am

**Ashes:** I’m stopping by your office today btw

**D’Ville:** ????

**Ashes:** I was called in to investigate the murder of the former archivist? I think Sasha James is the one who called me?

**D’Ville:** Good for her

**D’Ville:** But also

**D’Ville:** Do NOT acknowledge me

**D’Ville:** We are not friends

**D’Ville:** We do not know each other

**Ashes:** I thought you liked being my friend.

**D’Ville:** I do. And you’re wonderful.

**D’Ville:** But I know you.

**D’Ville:** They’re going to ask you how we met and you are going to tell them the truth.

**Ashes:** You don’t want your coworkers to know that you dress up in steampunk and scream about blood and gore on the weekends?

**D’Ville:** I do NOT.

**Ashes:** No promises.

  
  
  


GROUP CHAT: shots shots shots, 8:59 am

_ 4 members _

**DashingSash:** Quick reminder that I asked the police to come investigate Gertrude today. I mean, we know Elias did it. Or at least the note said so. But we don’t know who left the note yet. So I decided to call a formal investigation.

**TeaKing:** Does Elias know that we know yet?

**DashingSash:** That’s an excellent question. 

**DashingSash:** Let’s assume yes.

**DashingSash:** Nobody meet with him alone if you can at all avoid it.

**DashingSash:** Also let me know when the police arrive so I can meet them.

**ImStoked:** Will do boss-a-roo!

**DashingSash:** Never say that again.

  
  


9:02 am

**TeaKing:** The police are here

**DashingSash:** Coming up

10:31 am

**ImStoked:** Spill the tea, D’Ville, how do you know the cop lady

**D’Ville:** I don’t.

**D’Ville:** I just really hate the song she was whistling.

**TeaKing:** What was the song? It sounded nice.

**D’Ville:** I’m not telling you because I don’t want to hear it for the rest of forever.

**ImStoked:** The tune has nothing to do with this

**ImStoked:** She said something about Friday and you agreed

**ImStoked:** It sounded like a date

**ImStoked:** Are you dating the cop????

_ D’Ville has left the chat _

**ImStoked:** I’ll take that as a yes

  
  
  
  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 10:40 am

**D’Ville:** Congratulations, my coworkers think we’re dating.

**Ashes:** Gross

**Ashes:** As if I’d ever date you.

**Ashes:** [lesbianpride.jpg]

**D’Ville:** The feeling is mutual.

**Ashes:** You could never achieve a wonder such as myself.

**D’Ville:** Who said you were a wonder?

**Ashes:** Literally everyone attracted to women

**D’Ville:** [acepride.jpg]

**Ashes:** fiar enough lol

**D’Ville:** fiar

**Ashes:** FIARREEEEEEE [fire emoji] [fire emoji] [fire emoji]

**D’Ville:** I can’t even tease you about misspellings. You play it off so well.

**Ashes:** I’m just cool like that.

**D’Ville:** I thought you were [fire emoji] hot?

**Ashes:** …. Well played.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to everyone who commented on the last 5 chapters. I love you all.
> 
> Basira is whistling Ashes’ part of Underworld Blues by the Mechanisms.


	7. It’s probably Tuesday or Wednesday but author no longer cares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deals with Elias and more Cruela jokes

GROUP CHAT: archives gang, 7:45 am

_ 4 members _

**daBoss:** I’ve finally finished the new statement filing system based around the fears!

**daBoss:** I’m going to go present it to Elias

**daBoss:** He can’t avoid me forever

**TimStaker:** It’s dangerous to go alone!

**daBoss:** That’s why I’m letting you know I’m going.

**daBoss:** If I don’t come back, tell the cop.

**daBoss:** @D’Ville, you’re in charge of telling the detective if I don’t come back.

**D’Ville:** For the last time, we aren’t dating.

**TimStaker:** I’ll believe that when I see it.

**TeaMaker:** I believe him.

**D’Ville:** Thank you, Martin.

_ TimStaker has changed TeaMakers nickname to Traitin _

**Traitin:** What is that supposed to mean?

**TimStaker:** Traitor. Martin. Traitin.

**D’Ville:** That’s a ridiculous nickname.

**TimStaker:** Shut up Cruela

_ TimStaker has changed D’Villes nickname to Cruela _

  
  


GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, 8:00 am

_ 9 members _

_ Cruela has changed his nickname to D’Ville _

**MoonSlayerTim:** Hey wait thats hilarious

_ MoonSlayerTim has changed D’Ville’s nickname to Cruela _

**Cruela:** You’re a traitor

**Ivy:** Just run with it, Jonny. It’s less painful that way.

**Cruela:** *sigh*

  
  


GROUP CHAT: archives gang, 8:59 am

_ 4 members _

**daBoss:** I have survived the meeting with creepy eye boss!

**Traitin:** How did it go?

**daBoss:** Elias for sure knows that we know. And we know that he knows that we know.

**TimStaker:** And he knows that we know that he knows that we know.

**Cruela:** Can you all please stop?

**TimStaker:** Fine.

**Traitin:** Are we safe?

**daBoss:** He’s willing to leave us alone as long as we do make the effort to record the statements. We’re allowed to go slowly, 1 or 2 a week.

**daBoss:** He seems surprisingly pleased by my new filing system.

**TimStaker:** of course he is. He seems like the type that does spreadsheets for fun.

**Cruela:** I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him do that through his window actually.

**TimStaker:** Jon. Jonathan. Have you been spying on our boss? [eyes] [eyes]

**Cruela:** Its not my fault he has a weird technological setup! You can see everything when you walk by his office!

**Cruela:** You’d think someone who serves the god of being watched would be better about setting things up so he can’t be watched

**Traitin:** Maybe that’s the point. He feels like he’s always being watched so he forgets to account for normal people watching him.

**daBoss:** Could be that. Could just be an idiot

**Cruela:** That’s not outside the realm of possibilities here.

10:02 am

**Traitin:** I’m making tea! Would anyone like a cup?

**daBoss:** You are a saint and a champion among men.

_ daBoss has changed Traitins nickname to Champion _

**TimStaker:** yes please

**Cruela:** I’d greatly appreciate one.

**Champion:** 4 mugs coming up!

2:15 pm

**TimStaker:** Yo @Cruela are you ever going to explain the nickname?

_ Cruela has changed TimStakers nickname to ShutUp _

  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 3:02 pm

**Champion:** Hey, Georgie, can I ask you something?

**WTGhost:** Absolutely, Martin!

**WTGhost:** Do you need help wooing?

**Champion:** I’m not  _ wooing _

**WTGhost:** [somehow portrays skepticisms in a string of emojis]

**Champion:** I’m  _ not _

**WTGhost:** Whatever you say [shrug]

**Champion:** Well if I’m going to ‘woo’ him I at least have to get to know him first! He won’t talk to any of us!

**WTGhost:** Oh he’s doing the thing again

**Champion:** The thing?

**WTGhost:** The thing where he is intensely aware of his lack of social skills and overcompensates by being as formal as possible.

**Champion:** oh

**Champion:** OH

**Champion:** yeah that tracks

**WTGhost:** Now ask your question

**Champion:** oh yeah I almost forgot

**Champion:** What’s the best way to get him to talk?

**WTGhost:** Ask him about something he’s passionate about and be prepared for an intense infodump

**WTGhost:** he likes cats, music, and Indian food, and has very strong opinions on all of those

**Champion:** Thank you Georgie!

**Champion:** I’m going to ask him to come to lunch with me tomorrow!

**WTGhost:** Good luck!

**WTGhost:** You’ll need it

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 4:35 pm

**ShutUp:** What is he humming over there??

**ShutUp:** It’s familiar, but it’s not, and if I don’t figure it out its going to drive me bonkers

**Champion:** I think its a version of Poor Wayfaring Stranger

**ShutUp:** You’re the best, Martin


	8. A wild Daisy appears!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good friends love and support you but can also roast you at the drop of a hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will no longer be replying to every single comment but I love you all and hope you keep enjoying this nonsense.
> 
> Also, acab, but I love daisy as a character. She’s less Hunt-y in this fic.

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 7:52 am

**Ashes** : Hey Jonny boy

**Ashes** : I was supposed to come by and check up on some things with your boss again today but I’m feeling under the weather

**Ashes** : Daisy is going to come instead

**Ashes** : Can you give Sasha a heads up?

**Cruela** : I can do that, or I can send you her contact information so you can do it yourself.

**Cruela** : Up to you.

**Ashes** : Send me her info plz

**Cruela** : [sashajamescontactlink]

**Ashes** : thank you

_ Ashes has changed Cruelas nickname to HonoraryPyro _

**HonoraryPyro** : oh you do love me

  
  


GROUP CHAT, The Aurora, 8:02 am

_ 9 members _

**Ashes** : The new nickname stays.

**ToySoldier** : aye aye Quartermaster

_ 7 people have liked this message _

**HonoraryPyro** : How come you all will never “aye aye” me?

**HonoraryPyro** : I’m the Captain (or the closest thing here) and I have never gotten an Aye Aye

**Marius** : Well you see

**Marius** : Its for the same reason we refuse to let you have any rank higher than First Mate.

**Marius** : First of all, an actual Captain would have to be capable of wrangling our chaotic gang

**Marius** : Which is clearly impossible

**Marius** : And secondly

**Marius** : None of us respect you enough for it

_ 7 people have liked this comment _

**HonoraryPyro** : Ouch

  
  


GROUP CHAT, archive party, 11:18 am

_ 4 members _

**KayaKing** : … did that just happen

**MarTEAn** : it sure did

**Miniboss** : What did I miss? I was recording a statement 

**KayaKing** : This incredibly tall cop lady ran in, threw Jon over her shoulder, and ran out

**Miniboss** : wat

**KayaKing** : He was laughing

**Miniboss** : what the HELL @HonoraryPyro

_ KayaKing has changed the chat name to what the HELL sims _

**MarTEAn** : Im not sure he’s capable of responding to a message right now

**MarTEAn** : Actually, are we sure he’s okay? Do we need to go make sure he wasn’t just kidnapped?

**KayaKing** : He was laughing, I’m sure he’s fine

**KayaKing** : You’re good, right @HonoraryPyro?

**HonoraryPyro** : I’m alright. This is Detective Alice Tonner, also known as Daisy.

**HonoraryPyro** : Basira’s partner.

**HonoraryPyro** : I apologize for that. She’s here to see you, Sasha.

**Miniboss** : Oh yes. I’d forgotten about that. Send her in.

**KayaKing** : Detective partner or romantic partner? [eyes] [eyes]

**HonoraryPyro** : Yes.

**KayaKing** : That wasn’t a yes or no question!!!

  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 11:30 am

**MarTEAn** : I’m going out to lunch today. Would you like to come with me? 

**HonoraryPyro** : I’m going out with Daisy today, but you’re welcome to come with if you would like!

**MarTEAn** : perhaps not, I don’t know her really after all

**MarTEAn** : rain check?

**HonoraryPyro** : [thumbs up]

  
  


GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, 11:45 am

_ 4 members _

**KayaKing** : WAIT

**HonoraryPyro** : now he gets it

**HonoraryPyro** : [theyrelesbiansharold.jpg]

  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 11:52 am

**KayaKing** : But you’re dating the other cop??

**HonoraryPyro** : I literally never said that

**KayaKing** : then what’s on Friday???

**HonoraryPyro** : no comment


	9. The Not-Sasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on that one episode of The Office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick reminder for anyone worried by the title: this is a comedy. Love y’all
> 
> Formatting and such isn’t working right but I’m on mobile and I don’t care enough to fix it right now [shrug]. UPDATE: have fixed the formatting, whoop whoop

GROUP CHAT: archive hell zone, 8:52 am

_4 members_

**D’Ville:** Who is in Sasha’s office?

 **SashaDash:** Just me!

GROUP CHAT: 8:53 am

_D’Ville has added KayaKing and TeaMaker to the chat_

**D’Ville:** I don’t know who that is but that is not Sasha

 **KayaKing:** What are you talking about?

 **KayaKing:** I’m almost there btw

 **TeaMaker:** I’m on my way too. What do you mean it isn’t Sasha?

 **TeaMaker:** She didn’t say anything about being gone today 

**TeaMaker:** And she answered her phone when I messaged her about being late

 **D’Ville:** [imposter.jpg]

 **D’Ville:** That is the person in her office

 **KayaKing:** Holy shit that’s not Sasha

 **TeaMaker:** Yikes

 **D’Ville:** I’m going to go confront her

 **TeaMaker:** Hang on I’m almost there. I can take her some tea

 **KayaKing:** That’s a great idea actually. Have Martin ask the awkward questions

 **TeaMaker:** I’m literally 2 minutes away

 **D’Ville:** Okay, that is probably a wise plan

9:05 am

 **TeaMaker:** Well she takes her tea the same way as our Sasha

 **TeaMaker:** I tried to politely say that something seemed different, ask if she’d done something with her hair or something

 **TeaMaker:** She just laughed and said she did the same thing she always did

 **KayaKing:** Alright I guess politeness didn’t work. What should we try next?

 **TeaMaker:** Perhaps we should ask Elias if he replaced Sasha or something?

 **D’Ville** : Okay I’ll do it

  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 9:08 am

 **D’Ville:** Have you replaced Sasha?

 **El.eye.as:** What do you mean? Sasha is in her office.

 **D’Ville:** I don’t know who that is but it is definitely not Sasha.

 **El.eye.as:** That is Sasha James. 

**El.eye.as:** If you do not believe me, I have the paperwork to prove it.

 **D’Ville:** I would like to see that.

 **El.eye.as:** Come up to my office in 5 minutes.

  
  


GROUP CHAT: 9:12 am

_3 members_

**D’Ville:** According to Elias Bitchard’s paperwork, Sasha has apparently always looked like that.

 **KayaKing** : What the hell is going on

 **KayaKing:** I’m going to start asking her questions in the main chat

 **KayaKing:** but before that

_KayaKing has changed the group name to Archival Assistants_

**KayaKing:** I’m too stressed to think of anything more clever than that

  
  


GROUP CHAT: archive hell zone, 9:18 am

_4 members_

**KayaKing:** hey bosswoman, what would you like us to work on today?

 **SashaDash:** Same thing as yesterday.

 **KayaKing:** And what is that?

 **SashaDash:** Second corridor from the left, the 3rd section of shelves on the right hand side. Reading through the statements and categorizing them into which fears they likely are, then boxing them accordingly.

 **KayaKing:** Thanks Sash!

GROUP CHAT: Archival Assistants, 9:23 am

_3 members_

**Kayaking:** Well that was a bust

 **TeaMaker:** I’ll give it a try

  
  


GROUP CHAT: archive hell zone, 9:25 am

_4 members_

**TeaMaker:** Hey Sasha, what was the name of the place we went out drinking that one time? I was telling my friend about it and can’t remember the name

 **SashaDash:** Honestly? I don’t really remember, but its 3 blocks west of here between a Chinese place and that cell phone repair shop

 **SashaDash:** I’m notoriously bad at remembering store names but I could walk you there in a heartbeat

 **TeaMaker:** That’s valid

 **TeaMaker:** Thanks!

  
  


GROUP CHAT: Archival Assistants, 9:28 am

_3 members_

**TeaMaker:** Is she always that bad at remembering store names?

 **KayaKing:** Yes, actually. Its kind of annoying

 **TeaMaker** : well thats unfortunate

  
  


GROUP CHAT: archive hell zone, 10:02 am

_4 members_

**SashaDash:** I can see all of you on your phones, you know.

 **SashaDash:** As much as I also appreciate downtime, let’s do try to get a shelf or 2 done this morning, please?

 **D’Ville:** Yes ma’am.

  
  


GROUP CHAT: Archival Assistants, 10:04 am

_3 members_

**KayaKing:** @D’Ville you’re no fun

 **D’Ville:** She has a point though.

 **D’Ville:** Shall we meet at lunch to discuss this further?

 **TeaMaker:** I like that plan

 **KayaKing:** Sounds good to me

11:59 am

 **TeaMaker:** Lunchtime!

 **D’Ville:** I will be in the break room shortly.

 **KayaKing:** It may be better to talk outside the office. Should we buy something?

 **D’Ville:** Absolutely

 **TeaMaker:** works for me!

  
  


1:03 pm

 **KayaKing:** That’s Sasha????

 **TeaMaker:** That’s our Sasha????

 **KayaKing** : Sasha is BACK baby!!!

 **D’Ville:** I have no idea what is happening here.

 **D’Ville:** I’m going to look at Elias’s paperwork again if I can.

1:22 pm

 **D’Ville:** He let me look at the paperwork again, insisting it was the same sheets as this morning.

 **D’Ville:** Except this time, it had our Sasha’s face. Not the face of whoever that was.

 **TeaMaker:** This has been the strangest morning at the archives.

  
  


GROUP CHAT: archive hell zone, 1:30 pm

_4 members_

**KayaKing:** Sasha.

 **KayaKing:** Explain.

 **SashaDash:** I have no idea what you mean.

 **KayaKing:** So be it.

2:11 pm

 **SashaDash:** Tim, please do some actual work. No more headstands at your desk.

 **KayaKing:** Not until we get an explanation.

 **TeaMaker:** How are you even typing while in a headstand?

 **KayaKing:** I’m too cool for physics.

2:13 pm

 **D’Ville:** sending that last message made him fall down.

_KayaKing has changed D’Villes nickname to ShutUp_

_ShutUps nickname has been changed to D’Ville_

2:25 pm

 **SashaDash:** One of you was bad enough. No more acrobatics protests.

 **D’Ville:** Not until we got an explanation.

 **SashaDash** : Fine.

 **SashaDash:** But I gotta say, this was the prank of the century.

 **SashaDash:** [screenshot] [screenshot] [screenshot] [screenshot]

  
  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, the day before

 **SashaDash:** Elias

 **El.eye.as:** Miss James

 **SashaDash:** I would like to request your assistance

 **El.eye.as:** In what manner?

 **SashaDash:** As you are aware, I have an appointment tomorrow morning that will cause me to be absent until after lunch.

 **SashaDash:** I would like to use this opportunity to play a prank on my assistants, but my idea requires your cooperation.

 **El.eye.as:** I’m listening.

 **SashaDash:** I have a cousin who’s name is also Sasha James. She’s an actor and quite good. If you agree, I have asked her to be my replacement for the morning.

 **SashaDash** : I will leave her with detailed instructions on what needs to be done and how to interact with the boys.

 **SashaDash** : Would you be willing to play along as if she has always been here?

 **El.eye.as:** I will, just because I will greatly enjoy watching the chaos.

 **El.eye.as** : If you send me a picture of her tonight I will draft some false employment paperwork to aid with the deception.

 **SashaDash:** As long as it truly is false.

 **SashaDash:** I don’t need her stuck here as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank all of you guys for the comments and kudos and such! All of them make my day!


	10. Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy June 30th, yall

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sash, June 30, 8:01 am

_ 4 members _

**theRealOne:** Happy 51st riot anniversary guys!!!

**theRealOne:** [SashAndSash.jpg] [it is a picture of the two Sasha James. One is tall and dark-skinned with braids and sunglasses; thats our Sasha. The other is short, pale, and blond, wearing a hat; she is Not-Sasha. They appear to be at Pride, both decked out in trans-flag attire.)

**Softie:** Oh! Are you at Pride right now??

**theRealOne:** I wish! This is from last year.

**Softie:** You are both very pretty!

**theRealOne:** Thank you, Martin!!!

**KayaKing:** Well I guess if we are sending Pride pics for Riot Day

**KayaKing:** [imBi.jpg] (It is a picture of Tim Stoker wearing a pink shirt, blue pants, and random purple items: sunglasses, belt, shoes, hat. He’s holding a very purple drink in one hand. He looks ridiculous but like he’s having a great time.)

**Softie:** I’ll get in on this I guess

**Softie:** [rainbowmartin.jpg] (Martin is wearing a rainbow scarf that he quite obviously knitted himself. It has some holes from dropped stitches but looks very well cared for otherwise. Martin is smiling, curly hair sticking up in all directions because he is walking in the wind.)

**KayaKing:** Your turn @D’Ville!!

**D’Ville:** *sigh*

**D’Ville:** I don’t have anything current.

**Softie:** Old pictures are fine too!

**theRealOne:** Show us the old pictures @D’Ville!

**D’Ville:** No.

**Softie:** Fine, I’ll ask Georgie.

**theRealOne:** I’ll ask Basira.

**D’Ville:** OH HELL NO

**D’Ville:** Give me one second to track it down.

8:12 am

**D’Ville:** [firstprideparade.jpg] (It is a picture of Jon and Georgie at Pride. They look to be much younger, perhaps college aged. Both of them have bi flag colored hair; it looks to be self-dyed or possibly spray painted. Georgie has continued the bi theme with her clothes. Jon is wearing an ace flag t shirt and some intense eyeliner. They are smiling and appear to be having a good time.)

**D’Ville:** This was my first pride parade, junior year of college. 

**KayaKing:** Who did the hair???

**KayaKing:** I need to know so I can do that next year.

**D’Ville:** Georgie did it.

**Softie:** Well you look lovely!!

**Softie:** And now I have blackmail material on Georgie.

**D’Ville:** Good luck with that.

  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 8:17 am

**Softie:** Guess what I was blessed with today!

**WTGhost:** A picture of me from college.

**Softie:** how did you know??????

**WTGhost:** Bold of you to assume Jon would share my picture without informing me.

**WTGhost:** He knows better than to risk himself like that

**Softie:** … what is that implying, exactly?

**WTGhost:** Easy. He pisses me off, I withhold the Admiral.

**Softie:** You’re evil.

**WTGhost:** [sinister smile]

GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, 9:05 am

_ 9 members _

**Ashes:** Happy Pride everybody!!

**Ashes:** [nonbinarypride.jpg]

**Ivy:** [lesbianpride.jpg]

**Brian:** [aromanticpride.jpg]

**Raphaella:** [lesbianpride2.jpg]

**Marius:** [gaypride.jpg]

**D’Ville:** [acepride.jpg]

**Toy Soldier:** [agenderpride.jpg]

**GPTim:** [pansexualpride.jpg]

**Nastya:** [robosexualpride.jpg] (While the other memes have been the relevant flags overlaid with Happy Pride Day, this one is a poor line drawing of what appears to be Nastya kissing a robot. The backdrop is the lesbian pride flag with extra lines of gray and black added. The caption reads Robosexual Pride.)

**D’Ville:** Bloody Hell Nastya

**Nastya:** You love me :)

**D’Ville:** Like a particularly annoying sibling.

**D’Ville:** Not that I would know, being an only child.

**Nastya:** Well you have 8 particularly obnoxious siblings right here, and we all love you.

_ 7 people have liked this comment _

**D’Vile:** The feeling is mutual. [black heart] [purple heart] [white heart]

**Nastya:** And if sometimes we wish that we were truly Mechs so that we could shoot you with impunity, well, siblings be Like That.

_ 8 people have liked this comment _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nastya’s Robosexual thing is a running gag that serves the dual purpose of being good material for the Mechs shows and driving Jon up a wall.


	11. Go home, Jon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not being the boss hasn’t stopped all of his bad habits.

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sash, 8:20 pm

_ 4 members _

**DashingSash:** Does anyone know if the sound of the harmonica is associated with a specific entity?

**DashingSash:** I know bagpipes are associated with the Slaughter, so it feels like a valid question.

**KayaKing:** Harmonica could also be the Slaughter

**Windrunner:** same vibes(™)

**KayaKing:** absolutely same vibes

**DashingSash:** oy Martin you’re reading the Stormlight Archive!!!!

**KayaKing:** oh NO Martin you can’t just give in to reading her books!!! You’ll never escape!!!

**Windrunner:** Not sure I want to. I think I’m in love with Kaladin.

**DashingSash:** aren’t we all <3 <3 <3 <3

**Windrunner:** in any case, why are you asking about harmonicas at this time on a Wednesday night?

**DashingSash:** BECAUSE I CAN HEAR ONE IN THE ARCHIVES AND ITS FREAKING ME OUT

**Windrunner:** oh god

**KayaKing:** were worms not enough?????

**KayaKing:** the Corruption came for my beautiful beautiful skin and now the Slaughter is here for our lives

**DashingSash:** don’t be so dramatic Timothy, we don’t know for sure that its the Slaughter yet

**DashingSash:** and when did the Corruption come for you?

**KayaKing:** in every single nightmare I’ve had for the last week

**Windrunner:** valid

**DashingSash:** back on topic, it might not be the Slaughter

**DashingSash:** we don’t have any reports on harmonicas after all, just bagpipes

**DashingSash:** I just wanted to ask before I go check it out

**Windrunner:** No Sasha! Its dangerous to go alone!

**Windrunner:** Take Jon!

**Windrunner:** @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville

**DashingSash:** I don’t think he’s here. Didn’t he leave when you guys did?

**Windrunner:** No, he said he was going to stay late and try to do another shelf today

**Windrunner:** @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville

**DashingSash:** Well, he isn’t answering

**KayaKing:** Maybe the Slaughter got him

**Windrunner:** oh no

**DashingSash:** I’m going to go check it out

**KayaKing:** be careful!!

**Windrunner:** be careful!!

**DashingSash:** Don’t worry, I’ll be sneaky about it

_ DashingSash has changed her nickname to SneakySash _

**SneakySash:** going in

**KayaKing:** I can’t look

8:25 pm

**SneakySash:** So guess who decided to set up a cot and stay overnight in the archives

**SneakySash:** @D’Ville stop ignoring your phone, I’m watching you

**SneakySash:** all sneaky like and such

**Windrunner:** oh my god

**SneakySash:** I can see his phone going off. He’s just ignoring it

**SneakySash:** @D’Ville

**KayaKing:** but but but what about the Slaughter person

**SneakySash:** you mean the harmonica music?

**SneakySash:** [apparentlyJonPlaysHarmonicaWTF.jpg]

**KayaKing:** oh my god 

**KayaKing:** can you get a video???

**SneakySash:** maybe!

8:27 pm

**SneakySash:** [harmonicabits.vid]

**SneakySash:** he keeps stopping and writing something down but then plays again. Same bit over and over

**SneakySash:** oh shit he saw me

**D’Ville:** Are you spying on me, Sasha?

**D’Ville:** oh

**D’Ville:** shit

**D’Ville:** I can explain

**SneakySash:** get out of my fucking archives, Sims. We can discuss the harmonica in the morning.

**SneakySash:** Sounded good though

**KayaKing:** it really does, for a harmonica!

**Windrunner:** You should be in a band!

**D’Ville:** Nope. I can’t take this today.

_ D’Ville has left the chat _

**KayaKing:** are you going to add him back in @SneakySash?

**SneakySash:** tomorrow morning, perhaps. Right now, I’m gonna let him have this

**SneakySash:** now lemme go make sure he doesn’t try to sneak in and stay overnight after all

**SneakySash:** good riddance


	12. The next morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Job hunting in this economy has me stressed out yo

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, 9:18 am

_ 3 members _

**Stoinks:** what kind of band would even use a harmonica though???

**Stoinks:** the only things i can think of would be those weird american country people

**Stoinks:** and that music SUCKS

**COWS:** hey the old stuff is good

**COWS:** modern american country can go hang though

**Stoinks:** fair

**Stoinks:** but my point stands

**Stoinks:** can you really see Mr Boring Stuffy Jonathan Sims Himself playing in a country band

**Stoinks** : can you

**daBoss:** speaking of our dear Jon

**daBoss:** he is late for work

**daBoss:** this is unlike him

_ daBoss has added D’Ville to the chat _

**daBoss:** @D’Ville, you coming in today?

9:25 am

**COWS:** @D’Ville, everything okay?

9:40 am

**Stoinks:** @D’Ville

**Stoinks:** my man

**Stoinks:** coming in?

10:45 am

**D’Ville:** Sorry I am late.

**Stoinks:** eeeeeyyyyyyyyy there he is

**Stoinks:** can we ask about the harmonica now

**D’Ville:** If you would PLEASE give me a chance to explain

**daBoss:** why were you late Sims

**D’Ville:** I’m getting there.

**COWS:** give him a minute, guys

**D’Ville:** thank you, Martin

**COWS:** :)

**D’Ville:** I had an encounter with the Distortion this morning.

**daBoss:** oh

**COWS:** oh

**Stoinks:** oh

**Stoinks:** and how is our dear Edward Scissorhands this morning

**COWS:** you caNT JUST CALL HIM EDWARD SCISSORHANDS

**D’Ville:** His name is Michael, actually.

**D’Ville:** Michael Shelley.

**D’Ville:** or was, I suppose.

**daBoss:** is he… THE Michael Shelley?

**daBoss:** of Gertrude’s Assistant fame?

**D’Ville:** Yes.

**Stoinks:** shit

**daBoss:** What happened to him?

**D’Ville:** We didn’t get into that. I have a lot to tell you though.

**D’Ville:** I’d like to just come in and make a statement, if that’s alright with you, Sasha.

**D’Ville:** I think it will be easier to tell you everything with a little Eye help.

**daBoss:** Fair enough. On your way in?

**D’Ville:** Be there in 15.

GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, 4:15 pm

_ 9 members _

**Ivy:** I’m hosting a pizza/movie night tonight so we can practice one more time before Saturday’s concert, since its the end of the Ulysses bit for now.

**Ivy:** Are you all up for that?

**Ivy:** All in favor say aye

_ 7 people have liked this comment _

**Ivy:** I will count those as “ayes”

**Ivy:** You too busy for practice, @D’Ville? 

**D’Ville:** No, I just had a rather… unsettling experience this morning.

**D’Ville:** Practice will probably be good for me. I’ll come.

**Toy Soldier:** Oh Yes! Michael Said He Saw You! Hope He Didn’t Give You Too Much OF A Fright!

**Ivy:** Michael who?

**D’Ville:** NIKOLA HOW DO YOU KNOW MICHAEL

**Toy Soldier:** He Is An Old Friend!

**Toy Soldier:** Would You Like Me To Come Walk With You Tonight?

**D’Ville:** …. I would, actually

**D’Ville:** But mostly so I can get more answers out of you.

**Toy Soldier:** Jolly Good! I Have Teeth To Share With You!

**D’Ville:** Bloody hell TS now is not the time

**Toy Soldier:** I Will Leave The Teeth At Home!

**D’Ville:** Thank you.

**Ivy:** Seriously, Michael who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Assume Jon’s encounter is like Sasha’s from canon.


	13. This is why we don't read Sasha's books, Martin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim plans another 'team bonding' night. Jon can't slip out of it this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, they're talking about The Stormlight Archive series that was referenced in an earlier chapter. I'm obsessed with it. Fight me.

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 2:12 am

**COWS:** SASHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**COWS:** HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

**COWS:** I just hit THAT part

**COWS:** You probably know which one

**theNamesSash:** I absolutely do not. Remind me which book of the series you are in?

**COWS:** The first one!

**theNamesSash:** ah

**theNamesSash:** the Jasnah bit?

**COWS:** no????????

**theNamesSash:** lmao

**theNamesSash:** [honeyyougotabigstormcoming.jpg]

**COWS:** … is that a pun on Stormlight Archive?

**theNamesSash:** absolutely.

**theNamesSash:** go to bed, Martin. We’ve still got work tomorrow you know, and I’m not letting you call in sick for a book

**COWS:** You would understand if I did tho

**theNamesSash:** true lol

**theNamesSash:** but if you come in we can gush about it together

**COWS:** tru

**theNamesSash:** have a good night!!!

**COWS:** HOW

PRIVATE MESSAGE: 7:55 am

**NotPeach:** Don’t forget about movie night tonight!!

**NotPeach** : If you don’t show up on time I WILL come kidnap you

**D’Ville:** I’ll try to avoid being late then

**D’Ville:** … what time was I supposed to come, again?

**NotPeach:** you’re hopeless

**NotPeach:** I’ll come pick you up

**D’Ville:** at what time???

**NotPeach:** :)

**D’Ville:** DAISY

PRIVATE MESSAGE: 7:59 am

**D’Ville:** what time are we having movie night tonight again?

**Ashes** : Ask Daisy

**D’Ville:** she’s being threatening again

**Ashes:** lmao sucks to be you

**D’Ville:** BASIRA

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, 9:15 am

_ 4 members _

**Stoinks:** hey we should do a team bonding night again

**D’Ville:** didn’t you just do one of those

**Stoinks** : two whole weeks ago!!

**Stoinks:** you didn’t even go!!

**D’Ville:** I apologize for having outside plans?

**Stoinks:** Apology half accepted! You’re coming tonight.

**KaladinNo:** do the rest of us not get a choice in this either? I’m too tired for this

**Stoinks:** Nope!

**theNamesSash:** Timothy, it is too early in the morning to even be thinking about this.

**theNamesSash:** Stop harassing your coworkers and get back to work.

**theNamesSash:** Martin, do you want coffee or something? You look like you had a rough night.

**KaladinNo:** I am not talking to you.

**Stoinks:** oh shoot

**KaladinNo:** I’m making tea. Anyone want some?

**theNamesSash:** Can I have a mug?

**KaladinNo:** ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU BOOK-SHARING ASSHOLE

**KaladinNo:** YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS AND YOU CAN SUFFER FOR IT

**Stoinks:** oh no Martin

**Stoinks:** This is why we don’t read Sasha’s books

_ theNamesSash is typing _

12:52 pm

**Stoinks:** Seriously though lets do a team bonding night tonight

**Stoinks:** I’m thinking burritos and then Karaoke

**D’Ville:** I still have other plans tonight, Tim

**Stoinks:** Come on, just reschedule

**Stoinks:** We’d really like you to come with us

**Stoinks:** right @KaladinNo @theNamesSash ?

**KaladinNo:** oh it would be great if you came!!!

**theNamesSash:** I’m officially making it a mandatory work event. You’re coming

**theNamesSash:** If you don’t come I’m going to give you all the worst grammar-mistake-ridden statements for the next month.

**KaladinNo:** Ouch

**D’Ville:** *sigh*

**D’Ville:** I have plans with friends tonight. I can attempt to reschedule, but if it does not work I probably won't be able to show up either way.

**D’Ville:** I’ve been threatened with kidnapping if I’m late.

**theNamesSash:** Well then I’ll just message your friends and get it cleared up

**D’Ville:** You don’t know my friends.

**Stoinks:** Dude, you’re at work all the time, you have pretty much no social life. 

**D’Ville:** I do too have a social life.

**D’Ville:** I have 10 entire friends

**D’Ville:** Not even counting you lot

**D’Ville:** And you’ve only met 3 of them.

**theNamesSash:** 3???

**D’Ville:** You’ve met 2, Sash

**KaladinNo:** I met Georgie :D

**KaladinNo:** She is very nice!

**Stoinks:** I saw him walking home with somebody else the other night

**Stoinks:** Did a double take, didn’t know if it was a real person at first

**Stoinks:** who tf dresses in weird old-fashioned military outfits?

**D’Ville:** Nikola is… rather strange.

**D’Ville:** Very sweet though

**theNamesSash:** Well I’m going to message Basira in case your plans are with her

**KaladinNo:** I’ll message Georgie

**Stoinks:** You’re not getting out of it this time!!

**D’Ville:** *sigh*

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 1:03 pm

**NotPeach:** We will postpone movie night to a later date. Go get to know your coworkers, nerd.

**D’Ville:** *sigh*

**D’Ville** : I will do that.

2:15 pm

**D’Ville:** Hang on

**D’Ville:** What later date are we postponing movie night to?

**NotPeach** : :)

**D’Ville:** DAISY 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An archive staff out on the town, what will they do next?


	14. Thoughts on karaoke night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jon demonstrates that he doesn't know how to Friendship very well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to everyone who comments on the chapters. I recognize your names and love every one of you. Writing this fic and reading all the comments are the two highlights of my day and are really the only things holding me together right now, so thank you.

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 1:15 am

**D’Ville:** I am letting you know that I arrived home safely, as requested.

**NotPeach:** Glad to hear it. Would you like Thai?

**D’Ville:** Absolutely. But right now?

**NotPeach:** Of course

**NotPeach:** Its in your fridge

**D’Ville:** …

**D’Ville:** How did you get in my house

**NotPeach:** :)

**D’Ville:** Daisy.

**NotPeach:** Don’t worry about it :)

**NotPeach:** How was socializing?

**NotPeach:** Actually hold on, let’s take this to the other chat

GROUP CHAT: 2 lesbians and a nerd, 1:17 am

**NotPeach:** So how was socializing?

**D’Ville:** Can we PLEASE change the chat name

**D’Ville:** Also @Ashes your girlfriend broke into my house again

**Ashes:** Why? It’s accurate

**Ashes:** And good for her

**Ashes:** highfive @NotPeach

**NotPeach:** [highfive]

**D’Ville:** I feel bullied

**Ashes:** Fine. I’ll change the chat name

_ Ashes has changed the chat name to A Hopeless Case and his Two Moms _

**D’Ville:** That is NOT what I meant.

**D’Ville:** But I will concede the point.

**D’Ville:** It was… enjoyable, I suppose.

**D’Ville:** Tim(work) dragged us to a karaoke bar.

**D’Ville:** And before you ask, I neither sang nor drank. Chips were decent though

**Ashes:** You’re no fun.

**Ashes:** Are you glad you went?

**D’Ville:** I suppose so. They’re nice enough people. I just don’t know how to get to know new people. I’ve never really made friends before

**NotPeach:** But you’ve got us!

**D’Ville:** I met you all through different people, which is different. Georgie didn’t really give me a choice in being her friend; she kind of just adopted me on sight. Then she introduced me to Tim(fun) and Nastya, and before I knew it the band was coming together which is how I met Basira, and of course with Basira came you. So I don’t really know how to make my own friends. I’ve always just followed Georgie around.

**Ashes:** Sure, let the extrovert do all the work

**D’Ville:** It's been a functional strategy so far.

**NotPeach:** It works fine for me!

**Ashes:** Point

**Ashes:** But you’ve gotta learn sometime

**Ashes:** Sasha is a gem I can already tell

**D’Ville:** She’s wonderful to work for.

**Ashes:** She’d probably be a lovely friend too

**Ashes:** Promise you’ll try to be friendlier?

**D’Ville:** I wouldn’t promise, but I get the sense that I don’t have much choice in the matter.

**NotPeach:** :)

**D’Ville:** Case in point.

**NotPeach:** So if you didn’t drink or sing at the karaoke bar, what did you do?

**Ashes:** Please tell me you at least tried to be good company.

**D’Ville:** In my defense, I panicked.

**Ashes:** Oh no.

**Ashes:** Which exposition did you deliver today?

**D’Ville:** HEY

**Ashes:** Am I wrong?

**D’Ville:** … I talked about tannins for probably 15 minutes straight.

**NotPeach:** You’re hopeless

**NotPeach:** You’re lucky I love you

**D’Ville:** I am.

**D’Ville:** Can I go to bed now?

**Ashes:** You better.

**Ashes:** Don’t forget we have the last Ulysses concert tomorrow night.

**D’Ville:** Technically it’s tonight.

**Ashes:** Time is imaginary and we did a poor job of making it up

**Ashes:** Go to sleep.

**D’Ville:** [thumbs up] Good night. Love you

**NotPeach:** Love you too, doofus

**Ashes:** Just go to bed already

_ 3 members have logged off _

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 9:20 pm (earlier that evening)

**Stoinks:** You have a crush on a man who can talk about tannins for 15 minutes straight

**Windrunner:** Isn’t he wonderful

**Stoinks:** I have so many concerns about your taste in men

**Windrunner:** Let my gay ass yearn in peace

**Stoinks:** He won’t even sing

**Windrunner:** he’s probably just nervous

**Windrunner:** And I’ll take somebody who just WONT sing over YOUR tone-deaf screeching any day

**Stoinks:** feeling the love marto </3

**Windrunner:** Good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will absolutely take suggestions for batshit topics for these weirdos to debate. Leave me a line in the comments


	15. Writing the new set

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author gets to make their favorite headcannon about High Noon Over Camelot into reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, the writing process and the personality for all of the characters is my own invention. And the Arthur backstory is a headcannon, but I love it so I'm bringing it here.
> 
> I had to make a second google doc to continue the fic bc I got tired of waiting for 35+ pages to load, lmao. I was not planning to continue this thing for that long, but here we are, still having a blast whoop whoop

GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, Sunday 11:52 am

_ 9 members _

**D’Ville:** Nastya and I have finished the rough outline of the next set

**Nastya:** [gunslinglingarthur.doclink]

**D’Ville:** You know the drill. Claim a character, make any story edits you like, and put in ideas for songs you want to do. We will hash out the details once everyone has had a go-over.

**Ashes:** Fuck, Sims, we just did the last Ulysses concert last night, did you even sleep?

**D’Ville:** … yes?

**Ashes:** [skeptical emojis]

**Nastya:** Can confirm, he did sleep at least a few hours

**Nastya:** [JonnyAsleepOnTheCouchInFullMakeup.jpg]

**Nastya:** passed out mid-debate on Morgause/Mordred

**Ashes:** how many hours are we talking?

**ToySoldier:** It Is Not Good To Sleep In Makeup Jonny!

**ToySoldier:** Your Skin Does Not Like That!

**D’Ville:** So I have noticed.

**ToySoldier:** Your Skin Is Generally Oily. Try Witch Hazel!

**D’Ville:** In general or for recovery from this?

**ToySoldier:** Yes!

**D’Ville** : Thanks Nikola

**Ashes:** You never answered my question

**D’Ville:** I got at least 5 hours of sleep

**Ashes:** That’s half as much as you need

**D’Ville:** Its twice as much as I’ve gotten all week!

**Ashes:** JONATHAN SIMS

**Ivy:** That is not healthy Jonny!

**Drumbot:** Go take a nap or something

**GPTim:** holy shit dude

**Marius:** As the doctor of the friend group I prescribe you several hours of sleep!

**ToySoldier:** Humans Need Rest For Optimal Health

**Raphaella:** What a way to summon the whole chat

**Nastya:** He’s still here, I’ll force him to rest

**D’Ville:** you can’t make me do anything

**Nastya:** Watch me.

**Ashes:** ooooooooooooooooooooh

**Raphaella:** Challenging Nastya never goes well, Jon

**D’Ville:** *sigh*

**D’Ville:** If I go nap, will you all do your thing?

**Marius** : yes

**Marius:** just go sleep dude

**D’Ville:** don’t forget Brian has dibs on Merlinskalanknnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

**Brian:** You good man?

**Nastya:** he’s asleep

**GPTim:** ALREADY?

**GPTim:** how the FUCK did you do that Nastya

**Nastya:** Easy. Wrap him up in a weighted blanket when he isn’t paying attention and he will almost always immediately conk out.

**Ashes:** I’m going to need to remember that.

**Nastya:** I’ve got an extra one if you want it

**Ashes:** Yes please

3:15 pm

**D’Ville** : Are you all happy now

**Drumbot:** [ZukoImNeverHappy.jpg]

**Drumbot:** But yes, we have all edited the document

**D’Ville:** Okay I’ll check it out

3:22 pm

**D’Ville:** You can't just give yourself prophetic powers Brian

**Drumbot:** I can too

**Ashes:** Sure he can

**D’Ville:** I refuse to accept that gaining a robotic body would somehow give you prophetic powers

**Drumbot:** It’ll be a great gag for shows though

**D’Ville:** You’re not wrong

**D’Ville:** But

**Ashes:** Let him do the thing you old stick in the mud

**D’Ville:** I’m younger than you

**Ashes:** and who has the grey hair here?

**D’Ville:** touche

**Ivy:** hold on

**Ivy:** hear me out boys

**Ivy:** The official Drumbot backstory is that you crashed onto a planet with no memories, correct?

**Ivy:** And we are planning on yeeting Arthur into space

**Ivy:** He could lose his memories in the long journey, crash, and become Brian

**Ivy:** So his ‘prophecies’ are actually memories but he doesn’t realize

**D’Ville:** Ivy, you’re a genius, but we can’t write that into the story

**Ivy:** Then don’t

**Ivy:** We can put the theme from Lost in the Cosmos somewhere in the background as a hint for the stowaways to figure out if they want

**Ivy:** Then we can still use the prophecy gag and you have the explanation to soothe your demented mind

**D’Ville:** Hey

**Drumbot:** You’ve always got my back girl <3

**Ivy:** <3

**D’Ville:** I can deal with that.

**D’Ville:** Now that that’s settled, I like the rest of this

**D’Ville:** I like the idea of the song for the camp, @Ashes

**D’Ville:** The Saxon song sounds interesting

**D’Ville:** Thanks for not ignoring my dibs on Gallahad, I’ve got an excellent idea for that song

**D’Ville:** Did you touch it up a bit before I woke up @Nastya? This all looks much cleaner than it usually does after the doc thing

**Nastya:** You caught me

**D’Ville:** Good work

**Nastya:** [thumbs up]

**D’Ville:** I hate to admit that I feel better after that nap, but apparently I was in need of more rest. Thank you

**Nastya:** Of course <3

**Nastya:** Now take better care of yourself, dipshit

**Nastya:** I love you but making you get sleep is not my job

**D’Ville:** That’s fair, and I’ll try

**D’Ville** : But no promises

**Ashes:** I’ll sic Daisy on him if he doesn’t rest better this week

**Nastya:** Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for all the notes and comments you wonderful wonderful readers. Next chapter we will be back to the Archive crew


	16. 🎵 is it a smoothie 🎵

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon really likes to be an infuriating little shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter today since the stomach bug has been making the rounds here at my house. We are all on the mend now but it's been quite the week.

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, 11:52 am

_ 4 members _

**Timotea:** Thanks for the snacks, @Sash! What is this veggie dip?

**Sash:** It’s hummus!

**Timotea:** What the heck is hummus?

**Sasha:** 🎵 is it a smoothie 🎵

**D’Ville:** 🎵 or is it bean paste with A DREAM 🎵

**Sasha:** eeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy

**D’Ville:** [FinallySomeGoodFuckingReferences.jpg]

**Timotea:** first of all, What The Fuck

**Timotea:** and secondly, what is hummus???

**Marto:** hummus is NOT a smoothie

**Sash:** its not

**D’Ville:** Well

**Timotea:** oh no

**Timotea:** I recognize that tone and I do NOT like it

**D’Ville:** it would depend on how you define ‘smoothie’

**Timotea:** there he goes

**Marto:** a smoothie is blended up fruit with milk

**D’Ville:** And vegetable smoothies?

**D’Ville:** And what about dairy-free smoothies?

**Marto:** Even vegetable smoothies have at least 1 fruit in them

**D’Ville:** Point

**Marto:** but I guess the definition would be fruit (and possibly vegetables) blended up with a liquid, whether dairy or water

**D’Ville:** And nut butter additives in smoothies?

**Marto:** jfc Jon

**Marto:** Fine! Smoothies are blended up usually-healthy things! Contains at least 1 fruit and some liquid!

**D’Ville:** then by your own definition

**D’Ville:** Hummus is blended up fruit (lemon juice) with some liquid (olive oil, tahini) as well as various other ingredients, and is usually considered a healthy snack

**D’Ville:** a smoothie.

_ Marto has changed D’Villes nickname to SmartAss _

_ SmartAss has changed his nickname to D’Ville _

_ D’Villes nickname has been changed to SmartAss _

**SmartAss:** Dammit

**Timotea:** Well since none of you would answer my question I googled it. Its chickpeas?

**Sash:** yeah

**Timotea:** cool I’ll try it

**Marto:** I refuse to accept hummus as a smoothie

**SmartAss:** well then tighten your definition :)

**Marto:** the liquid used has to be either dairy or a widely-recognized dairy replacement, such as soy or almond milk

**Sash:** mm I love a good almond milk

**Timotea:** yeah yeah you’re lactose intolerant, we know Sasha

**SmartAss:** Well that would preclude hummus as a smoothie

**Marto:** THANK YOU

**SmartAss:** But do you know what still qualifies?

**Sash:** Oh no

**Timotea:** Don’t say it

**SmartAss:** Tomato soup.

**Marto:** NOW LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

**Timotea:** Whelp things are about to go down, guess I’ll get back to work

**Sash:** Me too

**SmartAss:** Bring it on @Marto

_ Marto is typing _

_ Sash and Timotea have logged off _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I can project my taste in books, I can also project my incredibly niche taste in Youtube videos too. Sasha and Jon refereneced this one here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbGAva-U3HE (part in question is 1:15-1:27 but the whole thing is worth a watch, the dude is hilarious). 
> 
> Thanks as always for commenting and for the kudos! You're all welcome to come yell at me on tumblr if you'd like! @100storiesin2020 is my writing sideblog and @renee-with-knives is everything else.


	17. A week of missed opportunities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Martin wants is to take Jon to lunch, is that too much to ask?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still trying to job hunt in a pandemic. Send me all the good vibes plz
> 
> This chapter spans Monday-Thursday. Different days are separated with “*****”, hopefully that helps it make more sense

PRIVATE MESSAGE, Monday 10:56 am

**Mahtin:** I just realized that I haven’t cashed in that rain check for lunch. Would you like to go have lunch with me today?

**D’Ville:** As much as I appreciate the invitation, I have a lot to get done on this statement, and I don’t think I will have time to take a full lunch hour today. Perhaps tomorrow?

**Mahtin:** Let’s plan on that!

*****

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, Tuesday 10:22 am

_ 4 members _

**RadiantLift:** I’ve got some assignments for you boys

**KayaKing:** Lay it on us Bosswoman 

**RadiantLift:** @Mahtin I’d like you to do some follow up on the flesh monster puzzle lady. I’ve found somebody who might be the lady, and I’d like you to go talk to her since you’re my most non-threatening person.

**Mahtin:** Are you sure you want me?

**RadiantLift:** Absolutely.

**RadiantLift:** @D’Ville, I’d like you to look into Breekon and Hope, just for kicks and giggles. They’re mentioned too many times. I’d like to figure out if they’re very entity-touched people, or something else.

**D’Ville:** Roger that.

**RadiantLift:** @KayaKing You’re going to use those muscles you’re so proud of and help me move some boxes.

**KayaKing:** Aye aye cap’n

**RadiantLift:** @Mahtin, come to my office and we’ll get you some train tickets and money for lunch. If you leave soon you should be able to be done by the end of the day.

**Mahtin:** I’ll be right there 

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 10:30 am

**Mahtin:** Try again tomorrow?

**D’Ville:** Yes.

*****

GROUP CHAT: A Hopeless Case and His Two Moms, Wednesday 7:52 am

_ 3 members _

**Ashes:** @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville

**Alice:** @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville

**Ashes:** @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville

**Alice:** @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville

**D’Ville:** That was unnecessary.

**D’Ville:** Also @Alice WHY

_ D’Ville has changed Alices nickname to Daisy _

**Daisy:** Just thought I’d try it out for a bit but I guess that’s being shut down

**D’Ville:** Why did you summon me.

**Ashes:** We were wondering what time the Institute opens. We stopped by and nobody seems to be there yet. I wouldn’t let @Daisy break in.

**D’Ville:** Thank god

**Daisy:** :(

**D’Ville:** Official opening is at 9. Sasha is always there when I arrive at 8:30 but I’m not sure when she gets there.

**Ashes:** I’m surprised you don’t come in even earlier than that.

**D’Ville:** She gets mad if I come in too early.

**Ashes:** I knew I liked her

**Daisy:** Somebody has to keep you from working yourself to death

**Ashes:** Speaking of the legend herself, Sasha has just arrived. See you in about 30 min then

**Daisy:** Bring me a coffee

**D’Ville:** No. 

**Daisy:** :(

**Daisy:** Please?

**D’Ville:** Fine.

**Daisy:** :)

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 10:32 am

**Mahtin:** Are we still on for today?

**D’Ville:** As far as I know, yes.

**D’Ville:** Is a late lunch okay with you? I should finish this bit around 12:30.

**Mahtin:** Okay by me :)

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, 11:58 am

_ 4 members _

**KayaKing:** I think the cops kidnapped Jon again

**Mahtin:** You think?

**KayaKing:** Okay they absolutely kidnapped Jon again

**KayaKing:** Carried him out over her shoulder and everything

**KayaKing:** Bets on how long he will be gone?

**D’Ville:** Just for lunch, it appears.

**KayaKing:** You’re no fun

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 12:12 pm

**D’Ville:** My apologies, Martin. Daisy isn’t somebody I’m good at saying no to.

**Mahtin:** Did you even have a chance to say no? She threw you over her shoulder and left. You looked very embarrassed about it.

**D’Ville:** I have resigned myself to my fate.

**Mahtin:** Rain check, again?

**D’Ville:** Absolutely.

  
  


*****

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, Thursday 9:15 am

_ 4 members _

**Mahtin:** Has anyone seen Jon yet today?

**RadiantLift:** Is he not in yet? 

**RadiantLift:** I didn’t hear him come in this morning but he doesn’t always stop by my office so that wasn’t unusual.

**KayaKing:** I haven’t seen him yet. Is he lost in the stacks maybe?

**Mahtin:** I guess I’ll go check.

9:30 am

**Mahtin:** I didn’t see him. @D’Ville, where are you at?

**RadiantLift:** @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville

**KayaKing:** @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville

10:30 am

**Mahtin:** @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville

**RadiantLift:** @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville

**KayaKing:** @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville @D’Ville

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 10:45 am

**Mahtin:** Hey, Georgie, Jon hasn’t come in today, and he isn’t responding to his messages. Do you know if he’s okay?

**WTGhost:** Not personally, but I’ll ask some of our friends and get back to you

**Mahtin:** Thank you

**WTGhost:** Of course <3

GROUP CHAT: the jonny sims protection squad, 10:47 am

_ 10 members _

**WTGhost:** Double order of business, guys

**WTGhost:** first of all, petition to add a certain Martin Blackwood to the group

**Ivy:** Oh isn’t that the coworker he talks about all the time?

**Marius:** The one he’s obviously pining over?

_ WTGhost has deleted this comment _

**WTGhost:** That’s him, yes

**Ivy:** Petition granted

_ WTGhost has added Mahtin to the group _

**WTGhost:** Alright guys, this is Martin. Martin, say hi

**Mahtin:** Hello I guess

**Mahtin:** what is this group

**Nastya:** Exactly what it says on the tin.

**WTGhost:** Second order of business

**WTGhost:** @Everyone does anyone know where Jonny is? He’s apparently not come into work and is not answering his phone.

**Nastya:** Oh that’s concerning

**Nastya:** I haven’t seen him since jam night last week

**Daisy:** Neither I nor @Ashes have seen him since yesterday at lunch

**Mahtin:** What’s jam night?

**WTGhost:** LIPS SEALED, HE DOESN’T KNOW YET

_ 7 people have liked this comment _

**Marius:** Ditto on the jam night

**Ivy:** Better line of attack: @Everyone, if you have seen Jonny since yesterday at lunch, like this comment

_ 1 person has liked this comment _

**Mahtin:** He did go back to work after lunch, but I haven’t seen him since about 5 yesterday.

**Ivy:** New plan. @Everyone, who is closest to Jonny’s house to go check on him?

**GPTim:** I’m at work

**Marius:** I’m at school

**Ashes:** I’m on patrol with @Daisy

**Raphaella:** I live a good hours drive from his house

**Mahtin:** I am also at work

**WTGhost:** I’m about 30 minutes away I suppose

**Nastya:** I’m also at work

**Brian:** Georgie is closer than I am

**Ivy:** Looks like it may be up to Georgie

**ToySoldier:** I Can Do It!

**WTGhost:** Are you sure, Nikola?

**WTGhost:** Are you even in the area? We still don’t know where you live

**ToySoldier:** It Will Not Take Long To Get There!

**ToySoldier:** It Is No Trouble For A Friend!

**Ivy:** Thank you, TS

11:20 am

**ToySoldier:** Jonny Is Sick Today!

**ToySoldier:** [SadJonnyInABlanket.jpg]

**WTGhost:** Thank you, TS. Do you guys need any help?

**ToySoldier:** No, Thank You. I Can Help Him

**ToySoldier:** Does Jonny Like Soup? I Will Make Soup

**ToySoldier:** Soup With Teeth! [teeth] [teeth]

**Raphaella:** How about you focus on making sure he’s okay, and I’ll order soup to be delivered for both of you

**ToySoldier:** A Jolly Good Plan! I Will Do That!

_ ToySoldier is offline _

**Raphaella:** [whew] disaster averted

**Mahtin:** … is this standard for your group of friends?

**Raphaella:** If you’re referring to the teeth, TS is just… like that, I guess

**Raphaella:** I think the rest of us are a little more functional

**Marius:** Speak for yourself

**Raphaella:** I am

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, 2:15 pm

_ 4 members _

**D’Ville:** I’m sorry to worry you this morning.

**D’Ville:** I believe I contracted food poisoning, and spent most of the night in absolute misery.

**D’Ville:** Fortunately one of my friends came to check on me. Not sure how they knew I needed it.

**KayaKing:** Oh you can thank @Mahtin for that

**Mahtin:** Or Georgie, really, I simply passed on the message.

**D’Ville:** In any case, thank you.

**D’Ville:** @RadiantLift, Apologies for the lack of notice. I apparently fell asleep this morning without hitting send on my message about calling out sick.

**RadiantLift:** Understandable. You rest up and get feeling better, okay?

**RadiantLift:** Take tomorrow off as well.

**D’Ville:** It was simply food poisoning. I feel much better now and should be able to work just fine tomorrow.

**RadiantLift:** Send a selfie as proof.

**D’Ville:** *sigh*

**D’Ville:** [RollingEyesAtTheCamera.jpg]

**RadiantLift:** Alright @Mahtin @KayaKing how would you guys rate those eyebags?

**D’Ville:** excuse me?

**RadiantLift:** I’d give them an 8/10. Not quite designer but a good knockoff

**D’Ville:** HEY

**KayaKing:** 9.5/10. Long lost sibling of a racoon.

**D’Ville:** This is uncalled for.

**RadiantLift:** @Mahtin?

**Mahtin:** 7/10. Perhaps an unruly clown went strange directions with the makeup.

**D’Ville:** Bloody hell 

**RadiantLift:** Get some rest this weekend. You can come back to work when the eyebags are at a 4/10 or lower.

**KayaKing:** Our ruthless queen

**D’Ville:** I can’t believe this.

**D’Ville:** See you Monday, I suppose.

**Mahtin:** Take care, Jon.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We somehow passed 700 kudos here and I’m blown away. Thank you all ❤️💜💙


	18. A quiet weekend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The further I get into Mechs lore the more niche the jokes become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the well-wishes with the job hunt. Y’all are the best!

PRIVATE MESSAGE, Friday 9:15 am

**Ashes:** So I hear you forced Jon to stay home for once in his life

**Ashes:** How did you do it?

**Edgedancer:** It helps that I’m his boss

**Ashes:** true

**Ashes:** wait

**Ashes:** hold on

**Ashes:** you read Stormlight Archive???

**Edgedancer:** You know it!

**Edgedancer:** Did I just find a Cosmemer in the wild?

**Ashes:** I’ve never heard that term before but yes, yes you did

**Edgedancer:** Cosmere + memer. The fandom needs a real name :(

**Ashes:** It does!

**Ashes:** Isn’t Kaladin just the best?

**Ashes:** I could almost be straight for him

**Edgedancer:** asdkfjslda;dfksalf

**Ashes:** [IJustThinkHesNeat.jpg]

**Edgedancer:** but also, yes

**Edgedancer:** while I’ve got you online, do you have any updates on who could have killed Gertrude?

**Ashes:** unfortunately, no

**Edgedancer:** It was worth an ask

**Ashes:** I’ll let you know if anything comes up

**Ashes:** In the meantime, are you excited for Rhythm of War?

**Edgedancer:** AM I EVER

*****

GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, Saturday 11:52 am

_ 9 members _

**DrumbotBrian:** Anyone up to come jam tonight? I’ve got lots of ideas for the next album and could use a few more instruments/voices

**D’Ville:** Please tell me you didn’t write the entire album already

**DrumbotBrian:** I did not

**DrumbotBrian:** But only because I’ve been forbidden to do that

**D’Ville:** I don’t know what devil you sold your soul to in order to be able to compose at the rate you do. It’s impressive and a little worrisome.

**DrumbotBrian:** So are you coming to jam night or not

**D’Ville:** I think I’ll rest tonight if its all the same to you

**Ashes:** Jonny? Resting? [shocked faces]

**Ashes:** I’m going to hold you to that

**Nastya:** I’ll come to jam night

**Ivy:** I will too

**Marius:** I’ll pass, but I do have a list of puns I’m compiling

**Marius:** [kingarthurpuns.doc]

**Ashes:** @Marius, these are atrocious

**Ashes:** X (ten) Caliber gun? That’s horrible. I love it

**Marius** : I aim to please

**Ashes:** you can’t aim worth shit with that goggle thing

**Marius:** It’s called a monoggle and it serves a very important purpose, thank you

**Ivy:** MONOGGLE?

**Ivy:** M O N O G G L E

**Marius:** Did I stutter

**Marius:** I’ve been calling it that this whole time

**Ivy:** WHAT IS A MONOGGLE

**Marius:** It’s a cross between a monocle and goggles, obviously

**Ivy:** THIS IS A WORSE CRIME THAN YOUR BOOT BELTS

**Marius:** YOU TAKE THAT BACK, MY BOOT BELTS ARE BEAUTIFUL

**Ivy:** THE BELTS ARE TAN AND YOUR BOOTS ARE BLACK

**Ivy:** YOUR BOOTS DONT EVEN NEED BELTS

**Nastya:** Here we go again.

_ Marius and Ivy are typing _

*****

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, Sunday 8:42 pm

_ 4 members _

**D’Ville:** Do I have clearance to return to work tomorrow?

**Edgedancer:** That depends. I think I need selfie evidence that you are feeling better.

**D’Ville:** Is this truly necessary?

**Edgedancer:** I said 4/10 eyebags, Cruela D’Ville. You need to look a little less gross than your namesake.

**D’Ville:** Fine

**D’Ville:** [AdmiralOnMyShoulders.jpg]

**Edgedancer:** IS THAT A CAT

**GoodCows:** CAT

**ImBiBabey:** CAT

**GoodCows:** [cat] [cat] [cat] [cat]

**ImBiBabey:** what is this good kittys name???

**D’Ville:** This is The Admiral.

**Edgedancer:** Is he yours??

**D’Ville:** Not quite.

**D’Ville:** He was mine originally but Georgie got him in the divorce.

**Edgedancer:** He looks so soft [heart eyes]

**D’Ville:** He is the softest.

**D’Ville:** Am I good to come to work then?

**Edgedancer:** Yes

**ImBiBabey:** Please bring the cat?

**Edgedancer:** NO ANIMALS IN THE ARCHIVES.

**ImBiBabey:** even cute ones?

**Edgedancer:** no.

**ImBiBabey:** please?

**Edgedancer:** no.

**ImBiBabey:** If no animals are allowed

**ImBiBabey:** Am I allowed

**ImBiBabey:** cause i’m a party animal

_ Edgedancer has kicked ImBiBabey from the chat _

*****

PRIVATE MESSAGE, Monday 9:20 am

**D’Ville:** I believe you said something about wanting to get lunch. I do apologize for all the delays of the last week.

**GoodCows:** Oh, it’s fine! :) It’s not like you had control over any of it!

**D’Ville:** I do still apologize.

**GoodCows:** It’s perfectly alright. Would you like to go today?

**D’Ville:** Where are we going, exactly?

**GoodCows:** Well I heard that a new Indian place opened up just around the corner. I was wondering if you wanted to try it out?

**D’Ville:** Is it the one between the chinese shop and the grocery store?

**GoodCows:** That would be it, yes

**D’Ville:** I’ve tried that place. It’s atrocious

**GoodCows:** Really? I heard good things about it

**D’Ville:** My grandmother would roll in her grave if she knew that the slop they served claimed to be Indian food

**GoodCows:** Oh

**D’Ville:** There's a place I know that serves MUCH better stuff. I doubt we could make it there and back for lunch, though.

**D’Ville:** Do you have any plans for dinner?

**GoodCows** : No??

**D’Ville:** Then I’m going to show you REAL Indian food.

**GoodCows:** Okay!!

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 9:28 am

**GoodCows:** I think I just got a date??

**Georgie:** Really? You managed to get Oblivious Jonny Himself to agree to a date?

**GoodCows:** I think so?

**GoodCows:** [screenshot]

**Georgie:** oh you poor baby, that’s not a date. He’s genuinely offended by the restaurant.

**Georgie:** it’s a good start though!! He’s agreed to spend time with you and that is not a small step!

**Georgie:** Have a nice night!

**Georgie:** Good luck wooing!

**GoodCows:** *sigh*

**GoodCows:** Thank you, Georgie. I will do my best

**Georgie:** [thumbs up]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jon’s reaction to the Indian restaurant is based on my own experience in moving from a largely-Hispanic state to a state that did NOT have ANY real Mexican food, holy hell, what is going on (I’m glad to be back home if only for that reason lol)


	19. 🎵 I’m blue 🎵

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim can’t sing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These songs came out way before my time but that didn’t stop them from being played at every dance when I was in high school.

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, 10:52 am

_ 4 members _

**D’Ville:** What on earth is that racket?

**SashaJamesBond:** Well there's some drama happening upstairs but I’m assuming you’re referring to the yowling from the archive stacks?

**Marson:** What do you mean there’s drama happening upstairs?

**SashaJamesBond:** Elias dress coded Rosie for too bright of a green shirt when his tie is even more horrifyingly neon and she is rightfully chewing him out

**Marson:** And you know that how?

**SashaJamesBond:** …

**SashaJamesBond:** shit

**SashaJamesBond:** I think I need to take the statements a little slower.

**SashaJamesBond:** They’re just so interesting!

**Marson:** We will keep you in check

**SashaJamesBond:** Thanks Martin

**D’Ville:** So what is the yowling in the archives?

**SashaJamesBond:** I forgot that you’ve never heard @Stoinks sing before

**D’Ville:** He’s SINGING?

**D’Ville:** That is NOT singing

**D’Ville:** @Stoinks you cannot carry a tune in a bucket

**Stoinks:** Rude

**Marson:** He isn’t wrong

**Stoinks:** You’ve pointed that out to me before

**Stoinks:** but

**Stoinks:** when the song is in your soul

**Stoinks:** you just gotta sing

_ Stoinks has changed his nickname to TheTrumpet _

**D’Ville:** I don’t even know the song you’re singing

**TheTrumpet:** Really? You dont know Mambo No 5?

**D’Ville:** I don’t listen to a lot of music

**TheTrumpet:** Probably just classical and the like, am I right?

**D’Ville:** Folk, actually, but you were on the right track

**SashaJamesBond:** That’s still no excuse for not knowing this song

**Marson:** It is kind of a classic

**TheTrumpet:** hold on 

**TheTrumpet:** [MamboNo5LouBega]

**SashaJamesBond:** I’m going to play it from my computer, get in here

**D’Ville:** I should never have accepted the transfer to the Archives.

11:32 am

**D’Ville:** What is he singing now?

**Marson:** Oh thats Blue

**Marson:** or Da ba dee da ba die

**Marson:** Or whatever the song name is

**SashaJamesBond:** Its Blue (Dah Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65

**SashaJamesBond:** You really don’t know any late 90’s music do you

**TheTrumpet:** Time to correct that

**D’Ville:** Do I get any say in this?

**Marson:** Nope

**TheTrumpet:** Nope

**SashaJamesBond:** Absolutely not.

GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, 1:53 pm

_ 9 members _

**D’Ville:** Why are we here?

**D’Ville:** Just to suffer?

**D’Ville:** Every day I have to deal with Timothy Stoker.

**Ashes:** Is this related to the music I heard when I came to see your boss today?

**D’Ville:** Yes. Yes it is

**Marius:** @Ashes what music?

**D’Ville:** Please no

**Ashes:** Blue (Dah Ba Dee)

**Marius:** hell yeah

**D’Ville:** Why are you here, Basira? I thought the case went cold.

**Ashes:** It did. I’m lending Sasha my copy of Legion.

**Ivy:** The friendship must be getting serious

**Ivy:** It’s at book-lending levels

**Ivy:** That’s no small feat

**Raphella:** You would know, wouldn’t you @Ivy

**Ivy:** I know you want to borrow my copy of A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor but the answer is still no

**Ivy:** Go to the library if you want to read it so bad

**Raphaella:** It just came out!! The library doesn’t have it yet!! Is this so hard for you to understand?

**Ivy:** You have stains from your experiments on every book I’ve seen in your house!

**Raphaella:** Most of those are food actually

**Ivy:** YOU ARE COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT

**Raphaella:** Is that a no on borrowing your book then?

**Ivy:** I will throw you out of the airlock.

_ Ivy has kicked Raphaella from the chat _

_ Raphaella has joined the chat _

**Ivy:** How did you do that

**Raphaella:** I’ve got wings, sucka, you can’t get rid of me that easily

**Ivy:** The answer is still no

**Raphaella:** Please?

**Ivy:** Hell no

**Raphaella:** Fair enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Books referenced are Legion by Brandon Sanderson and A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor (sequel to An Absolutely Remarkable Thing) by Hank Green. I haven’t read that second one yet because MY LIBRARY DOESNT HAVE IT CURSE YOU and I’m too poor for buying books.


	20. the Date(tm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so how was the Indian food, Martin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep trying to make Georgie say y'all. She's british. She should not say y'all. Its kind of a problem.

GROUP CHAT: the jonny sims protection squad, 9:23 pm

_ 11 members _

**WTGhost:** eyyyyyyyyy I’ve got news for you peeps

**Raphaella:** oh do tell

**WTGhost:** @Mahtin went on a date with jonny boy earlier this week and I just remembered that he never told me how it went

**Raphaella:** a date? [eyes] [eyes]

**Mahtin:** you said it wasn’t a date!

**WTGhost:** did I now?

**Mahtin:** I have proof

**WTGhost:** [screenshot] [Georgie: oh you poor baby, that’s not a date. He’s genuinely offended by the restaurant.]

**Marius:** Oh yeah he’s like that with food

**Mahtin:** So it wasn’t a date!

**WTGhost:** well I still need to hear the story and im going to guess everyone else would like to too

**WTGhost:** @Everyone come get your juice

_ 9 people have liked this comment _

**ToySoldier:** A Date? Jonny Went On A Date?

**GPTim:** fucker didn’t even tell me

**Ashes:** he didn’t tell you? He didn’t tell ME

**Ashes:** What day did this happen?

**Daisy:** It was Monday night, I’d guess, since he had leftovers from his favorite Indian place on Tuesday

**Mahtin:** …

**Mahtin:** How did you know that

**Daisy:** oh I broke into his house tuesday morning

**Mahtin:** … why?

**Daisy:** needed something

**Mahtin:** …

**Brian:** chill out @Daisy, he’s not used to you yet

**Mahtin:** @Raphaella I thought you said the rest of the group was more functional

**Raphaella:** I thought Marius made it clear that I was primarily speaking for myself

**Raphaella:** Ivy and I are the braincells of the crew and nobody else should be taken seriously

**Raphaella:** Besides @Ashes of course

**Ivy:** @Raphaella [highfive]

**Ashes:** Damn straight

**Ashes:** btw martin I’m Basira Hussain, the police officer that drops by every so often

**Ashes:** @Daisy is my partner

**Mahtin:** That would explain a lot, actually

**WTGhost:** we have gotten waaayyyyyyy off course here

**WTGhost:** @Mahtin, date details, stat

_ 9 people have liked this comment _

**Mahtin:** fine, fine

**Mahtin:** it wasn’t a date though

**Mahtin:** we took the subway out to this little hole-in-the-wall Indian food place 

**Mahtin:** they seemed to all know Jon by name which was kind of funny

**Daisy:** yeah he’s there at least once a week

**ToySoldier:** Hush, Daisy, Let The Man Continue!

**Mahtin:** he spent quite awhile explaining what all the dishes were which was kind of cute and kind of nice bc i don’t actually eat much Indian

**WTGhost:** oh for shame, Indian is amazing

**Mahtin:** i can’t afford to eat out much and my mum only ever made Polish food

**WTGhost:** okay that’s valid

**WTGhost:** so what did you guys talk about?

**Mahtin:** food, mostly

**Mahtin:** he was quite scandalized about my lack of knowledge on food in general and indian spices in particular

**WTGhost:** how long did he spend explaining different types of spices

**Mahtin:** a long time

**WTGhost:** oof

**WTGhost:** his infodumps are A Lot(™)

**Mahtin:** it wasnt bad actually, especially when he started venturing into spices i recognized from herbal tea blends and then it became an actual conversation and i quite enjoyed it

**Mahtin:** i did some infodumping of my own tbh

**Mahtin:** told him all about the time i tried to infuse honey with ginger. It did NOT go well

**ToySoldier:** It Is Too Cute!

**ToySoldier** : You Seem Nice! How Is The Condition Of Your Skin?

**Mahtin:** … normal?

**ToySoldier:** Jolly Good! I Shall Approve The Union!

**Mahtin:** IT WASN’T A DATE

**ToySoldier:** Approved!

**Brian:** @Mahtin with Nikola it’s best to just let it happen

**Brian:** You’re one of us now. Just accept the chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news: I'm officially turning in my 2 weeks at the job I hate. Finally escaping! Bad news: I have absolutely 0 idea how my update schedule will be affected with this change in circumstances. While nothing is official, I've always tried to aim for 3 updates a week (even if they're short), and I just don't know if that will still be feasible. Maybe it will and I will be pleasantly surprised. Maybe you'll just get 1 short update a week, or maybe even radio silence from me for awhile. We shall see! I love this story, I love all your responses, and it all brings me a lot of happiness, so I'm going to try to keep up with it.


	21. All Hail The Tube Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *walks in late to the discourse with Starbucks* 
> 
> So while I was on hiatus this fic passed both 900 and then 1000 kudos which is wild?!?!?!?!? Thanks for the love, y'all!

Group Chat: The Aurora, 4:22 pm

_ 9 members _

**Ivy:** Have we figured out the shape of the space station yet?

**Raphaella:** I think we decided it was cylindrical. Why do you ask?

**Ivy:** Because if its cylindrical, and the “sun” on the inside lights up the entire middle, wouldn’t the sun have to be cylindrical in order to reach the entire inside?

**Marius:** Ivy

**Marius:** You’re a genius

**Brian:** That would make sense actually

**Nastya** : of course it reaches the entire length, they’ve all got to be able to see

**D’Ville** : No

**D’Ville:** I refuse

**D’Ville:** How are we going to have it be high noon if the sun is a tube? It ruins the aesthetic

**Marius:** All in favor of Tube Sun say aye

**Marius** : Aye

**Brian** : Aye

**Ivy:** Aye

**TS:** Aye

**Nastya** : Aye

**Raphaella:** Aye

**Ashes** : Aye

**GPTim** : Aye

**D’Ville** : Absolutely not

**Marius** : Ayes have it. 8/9 Mechs approve the Tube Sun

**Marius** : ALL HAIL THE TUBE SUN

**D’Ville** : NEVER

**Marius** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

**Brian** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

**Ashes** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

**TS** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

**D’Ville** : Are you going to stop this nonsense?

**Marius** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

**Ashes** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

**Ivy** : There’s a zero percent chance they will.

**Brian** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

**Marius** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

**TS** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

**D’Ville** : Sometimes I hate you all.

**Ashes** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

_ D’Ville has left the chat _

**Brian** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

**Ashes:** TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

**Ashes** : party pooper

_ 7 people have liked this comment _

**Marius** : TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN TUBE SUN

_ Nastya has changed the group name to All Hail The Tube Sun _

  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE, 4:31 pm

**Ashes** : Hey James can you do me a favor

**Sashings** : Is it spooky?

**Ashes** : Make a joke about the sun being a tube in your work group chat

**Sashings** : ??????

**Ashes** : Its to annoy Jon

**Ashes** : He left the other group chat but I refuse to let this go

**Sashings** : Other group chat??

**Sashings** : Oh for your band

**Ashes** : Did he finally tell you about the band?

**Ashes** : It’s about fucking time

**Sashings** : YOU’RE IN A BAND WITH HIM?

**Ashes** : You and your spooky nonsense I swear

  
  


GROUP CHAT: the jonny sims protection squad, 4:32 pm

_ 10 members _

**Ashes** : @Martino @Daisy and @WTGeorgie, I need a favor

**WTGeorgie** : Discourse again?

**Ashes** : You know it

**Martino** : What?

**Ashes** : Just message him and say the sun’s a tube

**Martino** : ????

**Daisy** : [thumbs up]

  
  


GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, 4:34 pm

_ 4 members _

**Sashings** : Hey @D’Ville

**Sashings** : Sun’s a tube

**Timbo** : ???

**Martino** : *gun cocks* Sun’s a tube

_ D’Ville is typing… _

  
  


GROUP CHAT: the jonny sims protection squad, 4:36 pm

_ 10 members _

**Martino** : @Ashes He is going ballistic

**Ashes** : lmaooooooooo

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters will continue to be short but should hopefully be coming with more regularity now. Thank you for all the well wishes with the job situation!


	22. so about that band

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which we finally return to the characters and plotline y'all followed this fic for originally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't where I wanted it, but it is done at least, and sometimes that's whats important lol

PRIVATE MESSAGE, 4:45 pm

**Sashings:** so…. Were you never going to tell me that you and Sims are in a band together?

**Ashes** : He asked me not to

**Sashings:** but why not?? That’s so cool!!

**Sashings:** I’ve worked with him for 2 years and I never knew he was in a band!! I don’t understand why he kept it secret

**Ashes:** I don’t know either, James

**Sashings:** Well I guess I’ve just got to get to the bottom of this

  
  


GROUP CHAT, 4:46 pm

_ Sashings has added Ashes O’Reilly and Jonny D’Ville to the chat _

**Sashings:** @D’Ville you have a lot of explaining to do

**Ashes:** And before you ask I didn’t tell her

**D’Ville:** Tell her what, precisely?

**Sashings:** That you are in a band!!!

_ D’Ville is typing.... _

_ D’Ville has left the chat _

**Ashes:** Oh no you don’t

_ Ashes O’Reilly has added Jonny D’Ville to the chat _

_ Ashes has changed D’Ville’s nickname to Coward _

_ Coward has changed his name to D'Ville _

**Ashes:** Stop running away from your problems

**Sashings** : Im sorry to have intruded on your privacy, Jon

**Sashings:** I haven’t quite mastered the Spooky yet

**Sashings** : And that’s not an excuse

**Sashings:** I am actually very sorry

**D’Ville** : Apology accepted.

**Sashings:** I just don’t understand why you kept it a secret?

**Ashes:** Same here, actually. I thought you liked us

**D’Ville:** I do like you all! And I would have liked to tell you. I have a perfectly rational explanation.

**Ashes:** It better be a good one.

**D’Ville:** Elias

**Sashings:** Oh

**Ashes:** What?

**Sashings:** He’s the freaky eyeball boss

**Ashes:** OH

**D’Ville:** I, of course, wasn’t aware of his supernatural abilities at the time, but he knew about the band. He didn’t say it outright, but I knew that he knew.

**D’Ville** : He told me that I needed to be at my most professional at all times if I wanted to succeed at this job. “You’re welcome to spend your free time however you please, but if you wish to rise in the Institute then those… activities… must remain private.”

**D’Ville:** He never specifically denoted the band, but I just Knew, you understand

**Ashes:** What a douche

**Sashings:** Eli-ass Douche-ard

_ Sashings has changed the group name to Douchard Hate Club _

**Sashings:** Well now that you know you aren’t fireable, were you ever planning to tell us?

**D’Ville:** Not really. The secret-keeping and fear of being caught by Elias kind of moved to the back of my mind. Haven’t been thinking about it really

**D’Ville:** …

**D’Ville:** THAT BASTARD

**Sashings:** ugh he was enjoying a free meal for the Eye wasn’t he

**Ashes:** well now that that’s all out

**Ashes** : Are you going to tell the rest of your friends?

**Ashes:** Martin and 

**Ashes:** and

**Ashes:** the other one?

**Sashings:** Tim?

**Ashes:** No, Tim is in the band

**D’Ville:** Work Tim

**Ashes:** oh. Two Tims. That’ll be fun

**D’Ville:** Yes, I will let them know.

**Sashings:** So do I get to hear about the band now? All I know is that you’re in one. I don’t know what music you do or anything

**Sashings:** How long have you been playing together?

**Sashings:** I need ALL the details

**Ashes:** You or me, Jonny boy?

**D’Ville:** by all means go ahead, Basira

**D’Ville:** I need to run to the store so @ me if you need a specific comment.

_ D’Ville has logged off _

6:10 pm

_ D’Ville has logged on _

**Sashings:** So let me make sure I’ve got all of this straight

**Sashings:** Your band is called the Mechanisms because you basically roleplay immortal space pirates, and you were each made immortal by a Mechanism (mechanical body part)

**Sashings:** Except for the Toy Soldier (and I still don’t know what is going on there but apparently it has a pretty voice?)

**Sashings:** You all have backstories and some of you have songs

**Sashings:** You take myths and fairy tales, set them in space, make them tragic (and very queer), and set them to folk tunes

**Sashings:** You’ve so far done general fairy tales and Greek mythology

**Sashings:** Did I miss anything?

**D’Ville:** We were made immortal by a vampire

**Ashes:** oh yeah I didn’t explain Carmilla

**Sashings:** a VAMPIRE????

**D’Ville:** She originally got the band together but had to leave, for various personal reasons. The in-universe joke is that she had an accident with the airlock

**D’Ville:** I miss singing with her. Have you kept in touch @Ashes?

**Ashes:** Not as much as I would like, but she’s still making music

**D’Ville:** Good for her

**Sashings:** Not a real vampire I hope???

**D’Ville:** Heavens no.

**Sashings:** Do I have the rest of it straight?

**D’Ville:** You seem to. It took you an hour to get all of that?

**Sashings:** Basira got a little too involved in the backstories of the specific characters and I got lost pretty quickly

**Ashes** : I get very enthusiastic about my main non-work pastime. Sue me

**D’Ville:** That’s fair

**Sashings:** So when’s the next concert??

**Ashes:** We actually have a mini one coming up next weekend, with just the backstory songs

**D’Ville:** Nastya won’t be able to make that one though

**Ashes:** Her and Ivy, right?

**D’Ville:** Oh yes, Ivy too

**Ashes:** That’s okay, you can meet them later

**Sashings:** I will look forward to it!

  
  


PRIVATE MESSAGE: 7:11 pm

**Ashes** : I just had a thought

**Sashings:** fire away

**Ashes:** knowing Jonny, he’s going to forget to tell your coworkers about the band unless you prompt him

**Ashes:** How about you don’t do that

**Ashes** : and you just bring them to the concert as a surprise?

**Sashings:** I’m sold

**Sashings:** This is going to be chaos

**Ashes:** I can’t wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still blown away by the love, guys. Thanks


	23. Sasha Plots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to reiterate that I have fictionalized all the band members of the Mechanisms. The band is full of real people with real talent and real lives and they're not part of this universe. That is all

GROUP CHAT, Monday 3:52 pm

_ Bosslady has added Dracula and COWS to the chat _

**Dracula:** whoa Sasha made a group chat without somebody in the office?? [eyes emoji]

**Dracula:** what are we plotting

**Bosslady:** quick on the uptake as ever, I see!

**Bosslady:** Are you two doing anything this weekend?

**COWS:** I was going to go to a poetry reading but I’d rather hang out with other people to be honest

**Dracula:** There’s plotting in the works. All other things are cancelled

**Dracula:** What are we doing?

**Bosslady:** Its a surprise :)

**COWS:** And why is this a secret from Jon? Is there a reason he isn’t invited?

**Bosslady** : Basira Hussain (cop lady, Jon’s friend) has invited the three of us to a concert this coming Friday. Jon will be there with his other friends, but we’re invited as a surprise, so don’t mention it to Jon please

**Bosslady:** I’m really excited to meet his friends because I’m half convinced they don’t exist. They just seem really wild, you know?

**COWS:** You haven’t even been in a text exchange with Nikola. You have no idea how wild they are

**Bosslady:** Exactly! :D

**Dracula** : Concerts aren’t usually my thing but I’m absolutely down to embarrass Jon, let’s do it!

**Dracula:** When and where?

**Bosslady** : 7 pm Friday! I’ll send you the link to the location

**Bosslady:** [concertdetailslink]

**COWS:** Oh, and what kind of music is it? If it’s going to be loud I need mental preparation time

**Bosslady:** It’s folk-inspired concept music. Basira says it can be kind of rowdy. Do you need some earplugs?

**COWS:** I’ve got some [thumbs up]

**Bosslady:** Now back to work!

GROUP CHAT: what the HELL sims, Wednesday 10:04 am

_ 4 members _

**Dracula:** So

**Dracula:** Theoretically speaking

**D’Ville:** Oh no.

**Bosslady:** That is never a good conversation starter from you timbo

**Dracula:** im not that bad!

**D’Ville:** You are ABSOLUTELY that bad.

**Kaladin <3:** You’re bad enough to make Jon do all caps, that’s pretty bad

**Bosslady:** ^^^

**Dracula:** Rude.

**D’Ville:** Prove me wrong then.

**Dracula:** Okay then

**Bosslady:** oh no

**Dracula:** Theoretically speaking

**Bosslady:** @D’Ville you have made a mistake

**Dracula** : If you could have chosen any of the 14? Entities to end up serving, which would you have chosen?

**Dracula:** Assuming you absolutely had to choose one

**Bosslady:** Oh that was not nearly as bad as I thought

**Dracula:** See? Have some faith in me

**Bosslady:** never <3

**Dracula:** -.-

**D’Ville:** I probably would have ended up with the Eye in any case. I’m just too curious for my own good.

**Dracula:** That is very true

**Dracula:** second choice?

**D’Ville:** The Slaughter.

**Kaladin <3:** ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

**Dracula:** seriously?

**Bosslady:** is it because of the evil music?

**D’Ville:** It is absolutely because of the evil music.

**D’Ville:** More entities should be inclusive of the harmonica.

**Dracula:** ALKSLDFKLSAD;

**Dracula:** Alrighty then! Anyone else? @Kaladin<3?

**Kaladin <3:** I was probably a pretty good candidate for the Lonely before I became good friends with all of you! Wouldn’t ever choose it though. None of them really call to me tbh

**Bosslady:** Martin’s vibes are too pure for fear entities

**Dracula:** Amen to that

**D’Ville:** Absolutely.

**Bosslady:** I’d probably put you as Web though @Kaladin<3

**Kaladin <3:** Really?

**Bosslady:** You’re smarter than you let on and from what you’ve said of your past, you’ve had to learn to manipulate to survive. You’re good at it now. I don’t think it would claim you because you have done it out of necessity rather than desire, but you’ve got the skills

**Bosslady:** I don’t mean that in a negative way, you did what you needed to to make it out of that situation

**Kaladin <3:** I guess that makes sense

**Kaladin <3:** I do love spiders!

**D’Ville:** To each their own.

**Dracula:** Your turn @Bosslady

**Bosslady:** I’m very eye myself! I like the Spiral though. I think we’d vibe

**Dracula:** Funky colors?

**Bosslady:** Funky colors!

**Bosslady:** Alright @Dracula your turn!

**Dracula:** I think I’d be the End. So much in life feels inevitable. Danny is gone. I am here. I am stuck in a job that I cannot escape, and I have friends I would not have necessarily sought out but came to anyway. Someday I will die. It’s all inevitable and I think I’m coming to peace with that

**Dracula:** To reword it feels like I would be here in this Archive in any version of the timeline and there’s something inevitable about that. And that’s End shit

**Bosslady:** Interesting

**Bosslady:** I would have pegged you for Vast

**Dracula:** Really? Why?

**Bosslady:** Infinite Kayaking.

**Dracula:** INFINITE KAYAKING

GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, Friday 4:45 pm

_ 9 members _

**Nastya:** Best of luck with the concert tonight everybody! Hope it goes well!

**Marius:** Same to you! Hope your stuff goes well too!

**Nastya:** You can’t remember what it is, can you.

**Marius** : No [crying emoji] but I support you anyway!

**Nastya:** <3 <3 <3

**Ivy:** Good luck from me as well!

**Marius:** Good luck on the exams tomorrow!!

**Nastya:** Oh, so you remember Ivy, but not me, your fellow strings player?

**Nastya** : I’m wounded! </3

**Nastya** : jk Marius I’m not mad, play well tonight :) I’ll see you all in a few weeks

**Marius** : In a few weeks???

**D’Ville:** She’s visiting family in Russia.

**Marius:** IM SO DUMB I KNEW THAT HAVE FUN NASTYA LOVE YA

**Nastya:** Love you too dumbass <3

**D’Ville:** The rest of you lot need to be there by 5:30, don’t forget. I don’t have Nastya here to help me with the wires and I’m not technologically proficient enough to get this all set up alone yet.

**Brian:** omw

**Raphaella:** Be there soon!

GROUP CHAT: the surprise squad,, 6:15 pm

_ 3 members _

**Cows:** I’m here! Where are we sitting?

**SalsaSash:** I’m not sure. Basira said somebody named Georgie would be holding seats for us.

**Cows:** Oh, I know Georgie! One sec

6:18 pm

**Cows:** Okay we are on the left side when you guys get here

**KayaKing:** Be there in about 2 min!

**SalsaSash:** I’m 5 min out with chips for all of us!

**Cows:** You’re the best

6:21 pm

**KayaKing:** I can’t find you??

**Cows:** look to your left, I have been waving for 30 seconds

6:25 pm

**SalsaSash:** I can’t find you and there’s a lot of people here!

**Cows:** Wait by the door. I’m coming

GROUP CHAT: concert squad, 6:45 pm

_ Cows has added 3 members to the group _

**Cows:** Between the noise and the earplugs I cannot hear a single thing, can we move the conversation here?

**WTGeorgie:** Absolutely!

**KayaKing:** Sure thing Marto!

**SalsaSash:** Great idea, I was having a hard time too

**Cows:** Sasha, didn’t you say Jon would be here with his other friends? I’ve been watching for them but haven’t seen anyone yet.

**WTGeorgie:** Oh, they’re here! You’ll see them in a bit

**KayaKing:** I gotta say this isn’t boding well for the “his friends aren’t real” theory that’s been passed around

**Cows:** Nobody could pretend to be as strange as Nikola obviously is just over text

**WTGeorgie:** Amen to that! Love her though

**SalsaSash:** I’m very excited :D

**WTGeorgie:** Me too :D

**WTGeorgie:** Did you grab any drinks? These chips are salty

**SalsaSash** : I didn’t :/

**KayaKing:** I’ll get some from the bar

**WTGeorgie:** Thank you King 

6:58 pm

**SalsaSash:** Stop flirting with the bartender and get back over here, there’s just 2 minutes til the show starts

**Cows:** And I still haven’t seen Jon

**SalsaSash:** You will, don’t worry Marto

**Cows:** If you say so

7:01 pm

**KayaKing:** Is that?

**Cows:** ?!?!?!?!?!?!?

**WTGeorgie:** Lmao they’re having sound issues again, I’m guessing Jonny had to set up

**Cows:** HOLY SHIT IS THAT BASIRA

**WTGeorgie:** I’m so glad I got those faces on camera

**WTGeorgie:** flabbergasted.pic [Tim and Martin sitting at a table. Tim is leaning back in his chair, about to fall over. Martin looks like he has just choked on a glass of water. They have equally shocked faces.]

**SalsaSash:** Basira looks so good! Who is the guitar guy? He’s hot

**WTGeorgie:** Oh that’s Gunpowder Tim

**Cows:** “I’m singing a song into the microphone” I love it

**WTGeorgie:** And that would be Nikola

**Cows:** really?

**KayaKing** : What kind of music did you say this was going to be? I wasn’t expecting steampunk outfits!

**KayaKing:** I also wasn’t expecting Jon to be singing but cool I guess!

**SalsaSash:** folk-inspired concept music!

**WTGeorgie** : They’re a band of immortal space pirates! :D

**KayaKing:** They’re WHAT

**Cows:** Shh they’re starting

**Cows:** DID HE JUST SAY D’VILLE

**KayaKing:** IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have in-concert and after-concert reactions!   
> End!Tim is a call to the Road to Damascus series by Renwhit here on AO3! It's very good! Highly recommend!


	24. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the moment you've all been waiting for...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating this as a birthday present to myself, whoop whoop
> 
> Note: The concert is Revenge of Spaceport Mahon (which can be found on youtube)

GROUP CHAT: concert squad, 8:02 pm

_4 members_

**SalsaSash:** So.

 **SalsaSash:** What did you all think?

 **WTGeorgie:** I am most excited to find out!

 **KayaKing:** That

 **KayaKing:** That was

 **SalsaSash:** Spit it out Timothy

 **KayaKing:** But I have no words left!

 **SalsaSash:** Fair enough I suppose

 **WTGeorgie:** How about you, Martin?

_Cows has changed his nickname to MoonKaiser_

**MoonKaiser:** That was incredible!!!

_KayaKing has changed his nickname to Gunpowder_

**WTGeorgie:** No, you can't use Gunpowder

 **WTGeorgie:** I'll get you mixed up with the other Tim too easily

 **Gunpowder:** >:(

 **Gunpowder:** Oh wait that explains something actually

 **WTGeorgie:** You're taking too long

_WTGeorgie has changed Gunpowder's nickname to TimothyLaCognizi_

**TimothyLaCognizi:** You know what

 **TimothyLaCognizi:** I'll take it

 **WTGeorgie:** Well I'm glad you all liked it

 **WTGeorgie:** I'm going to go help them tear down, and then we are all going to the bar for a round. You all want to come?

 **TimothyLaCognizi:** Absofrickinlutely

 **SalsaSash:** Sure

 **MoonKaiser:** I should probably go home :/

 **WTGeorgie:** Aww :/ well, hope to have you next time!

PRIVATE MESSAGE: 8:05 pm

 **TimothyLaCognizi:** Everything okay, Marto? You don't have to go if you don't want to

 **MoonKaiser:** I'll be alright

 **MoonKaiser:** I'd really like to go

 **MoonKaiser:** But I've had as much noise and people as I can take in a night

 **MoonKaiser:** As much as I would really like to stay, it probably wouldn't end well, earplugs or not

 **TimothyLaCognizi:** Noted

 **MoonKaiser:** Give Jon my regards

 **TimothyLaCognizi:** Just regards? ;)

 **MoonKaiser:** TIMOTHY STOKER

GROUP CHAT: The Aurora, 8:10 pm

_9 members_

**Nastya:** So, how did it go?

 **Marius:** Excellently, actually!

 **Nastya:** So Operation Coworkers was a success?

 **D'Ville:** WAS I THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE COMING??

 **GPTim:** Yeah, pretty much

 **GPTim:** Basira arranged it

 **D'Ville:** Hey @Ashes!

 **Ashes:** Yeah?

 **D'Ville:** Thank you.

 **Ashes:** You're welcome

 **Marius:** [confusedblinkgif]

 **D'Ville:** Were you expecting a different reaction?

 **Marius:** Yes, actually

 **Marius:** You've been so adamant about not telling them about us even though you consider them friends and talk about them a lot

 **Marius:** Basira passed on why, of course, once she knew

 **Marius:** But I figured you would want to tell them yourself

 **D'Ville:** Well, you're right.

 **D'Ville:** I did want to tell them myself.

 **D'Ville:** I actually intended to invite them to this concert.

 **D'Ville:** But how do you just bring that up in conversation?

 **D'Ville:** "By the way, we've been friends for like 4 years, and all that time I've secretly been in a band I didn't want to tell you about. Can you come to our concert this Friday?"

 **Ashes:** You do it just like that, dumbass

 **D'Ville:** Fair enough.

 **D'Ville:** But this was admittedly more epic.

 **Drumbot:** Nastya, you should have seen their faces!

 **Nastya:** Oh, I did

 **Ivy:** Georgie sent us a picture

 **Ashes:** I'm going to need a copy of that

 **Ashes:** For non-blackmail related reasons, I swear

PRIVATE MESSAGE: 9:25 pm

 **D'Ville:** Martin

 **MoonKaiser:** Hi Jon

 **MoonKaiser:** The concert was excellent by the way

 **D'Ville:** Thank you.

 **D'Ville:** I was a little worried you wouldn't like it.

 **D'Ville:** Steampunk folk music isn't for everyone.

 **MoonKaiser:** I liked it a lot!

 **MoonKaiser:** The venue was a little loud for my taste but the storytelling was excellent

 **MoonKaiser:** and your voice is even better!

 **D'Ville:** Thank you, Martin. That's very kind.

 **MoonKaiser:** I had a question actually

 **MoonKaiser:** Would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow?

 **MoonKaiser:** As an actual proper date this time

 **MoonKaiser:** I want to hear all the band

 **MoonKaiser:** All the stuff I probably missed out on at the party tonight

 **D'Ville:**...

 **D'Ville:** I would love that, Martin

 **D'Ville:** See you tomorrow?

 **MoonKaiser:** See you tomorrow :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed from the chapter count, but I am tentatively closing this fic. It's been a fun journey, but I feel like I've told the story I wanted to. If I ever have fun bits I want to add, I will, but at the current moment it doesn't seem likely. I started writing this fic because I desperately needed it, and it did its job. The love was a surprise. Thank you all so much for the comments, the kudos, and the love.
> 
> If you're interested in it, I'm currently working on a Stormlight Archives/Mechanisms crossover that updates on Saturdays. It's going to be a long one, folks, but I'm very excited about it. 
> 
> As always, you can come give me a holler over on tumblr at rosie-with-knives. Thanks everyone


End file.
